Wednesday, April 16, 1969

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David stopped by to say goodbye -

Sent off a package of stuff to Las Vegas that we won’t be needing plus presents. Daddy joined us for breakfast. Hilary told me yesterday that he was delighted with Dick + I was so happy. Hated to say good bye to Daddy. Dear, dear Daddy. His book incidentally is in its final stages + we saw the end papers + lay out + binding + I think it’s going to be lovely. We drove down the Vermont side. Pouring rain after we left N.H. We got to Simsbury at 1:10 + Cotton looking just darling was ready in minutes. Off to Farmington where Winnie was waiting outside Main. She looks awfully well + I’m delighted She’s so happy there. We went to The Corner House for a heavenly lunch. The girls so cute. They had shrimp cocktails + oysters (4 between them) while we had a couple of bloody Mary’s + then they had steaks + I had fish + I forget Dick’s choice. We gave them each $5 after lunch. Certainly 2 easier to please children would be hard to find. We left Winnie first as she had to be back by 3 + then took Cotton back to Ethel Walkers. The drive down to Riverdale was really hairy because of the rain. We got there about 6 o’clock (Had a couple of drinks + then Russell went out for Chinese food. Anthony wasn’t his usual sunny self + I was sorry as I wanted Dick to meet him at his best. Jessie going through all the agony of being accepted at College. Syracuse has accepted her but now she doesn’t want to go. Co + Russell as always welcoming + easy to be with. We played Poker + Dick + I lost as the evening waxed on. But it was alot gayer than when Colby was losing at the beginning. Late drunk evening.

Tuesday, April 15, 1969

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We did alot today. Went to the Inn for lunch. Saw Grace Dean whom Daddy wanted me to introduce Dick to to “prove I was still in the ring.” We made all the rounds – Sport Shop, Bettys, Drugstore, Post office Saw [crossed out letters] Millie about Alaria. Got the Saunder’s address from Hilary, we went to Pine craft and bought a few odds + ends for Joyce + Irene + Jack + George. In the morning we went to Newport and bought liquor for Daddy. Got a scrapbook + fillers for Ethel. Plus five dollars. Everyone pleased I guess. After dinner we went to the High school to see David in his play. 3 one acts. Competition between Sunapee (“Hello out there”) Newport (This property is condemned”) and New London with an original adaptation of the prologue to the Canterbury Tales. “Hello out There” was unbearable. The boy just awful. The Newport entry was inappropriate but the girl a little bit interesting. The New London Show was last + best + really very entertaining. David terribly funny. We’d taken Lincoln with us + gave him a ride home with a funny little friend of his. We played cards when we got back + when Ethel joined us it got quite gay. I was big loser + Dick big winner. Evening ended with me owing him $1750 + Ethel owing him a cool thousand. Ethel sold him a piece of mince pie + was even + I went to bed with him for my debt.

Monday, April 14, 1969

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Dick furious at me this morning because I’d “raped” Lansing Bailey. Really grim +  told me he wouldn’t trust me in New York + that he was going back to Vegas after seeing Colby. All I could do was apologize + I pointed out to him that certainly Lansing was “safe.” But no good. Daddy had fallen down going to bed last night but was unhurt. He took Dick to the cleaners + the laundry + they drove around a little. Returned in slightly better spirits. We drove up to Hanover for lunch at the Inn. Such a beautiful drive + really glorious warm weather. We went into Hopkins Center + saw a Happening that I thought was quite impressive. Then several exhibits. We came back around three. Dick now in fairly good humor. We took a nap + made love – Daddy’s cry “Moderation.” Hilary over for a drink before dinner. We decided to stay in N.L. until Weds. Colby called + our decision was good as she couldn’t see us Tues. night. Nice dinner. after which Daddy went straight to bed. We played cards + then found The Academy Awards were on tonight. Watched them. Interesting new format but a little forced. Winners seemed less important than the show. Cliff Robertson won + Katherine Hepburn + Barbara Streisand shared first place. Oliver was the best film, Jack Albertson best supporting actor + Ruth Gordon best supporting actress. “Windmills of my Mind” the top song. Over about 12:30. Glad we’d taken a nap.

Sunday, April 13, 1969

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Up + went to church. Bob Thurston gave us his blessing from the pulpit. After we went through the new Parish house. funny bit about putting 3 pikes on the wall (low) to keep the children from falling over. Dick suggested ground glass. Sherry after. Jimmy joined us. David over on the ski doo + Dick tried it. As he went hurtling across the field tie flying, Jimmy said “It was nice to have known him.” Good Sunday dinner. Then over to Barn View. First though Daddy gave Dick “The Tour.” Followed by a small tour of Barn View. We drove over to Alaria. Left the car on the hard top + went across the beach. The house all boarded up. We went in the kitchen and of course I’d forgotten that the electricity was off. We got sort of a look with candles but I didn’t think Dick liked it much. Came home + changed for Hilary + Jim’s party. Seth + Millie, Janice + Bob Wallace, Marian Towne, Easy + Fairfax Downey, The Balins, Henry Pogue. Norman Leger + Lansing Bailay, the Thurstons, The Jensens, The Woodmans and a few others. Okay at the outset but ended up drunk with Lansing + Norman + Marian. Jimmy had left for Washington. Came home (I presume as I was there in the morning) and Dick poured himself + me + Daddy all another.

Saturday, April 12, 1969

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Arrived Boston 10:13. Mather met us. 3 front teeth missing so he looked a little like Ron Moody We picked up a yellow chevrolet from Hertz + drove to Mather’s new apartment. Really a great place although not yet furnished. Lots of books though. To celebrate our recent marriage Mather had bought a 6 pack of Ballantyne ale + a bottle of Peach Brandy! Dear Mather. We had an ale, then went to the top of the Prudential building. Then back for a little Peach Brandy then to the Union Oyster house for lunch. We left Boston about 2:30 + got to New London after stopping for a no-doz about 5:30. Took the “Sarah Blanding Room.” Jimmy + Hilary invited for 6 but didn’t make it til 6:45. Daddy funny about J.C.C’s idea of time. Daddy called Dick Peter + then asked me if I’d heard from him. (I had) Dick said “No, that’s the other one” + he + Daddy seemed to get along famously. Ethel back + looking remarkably well. So good to see her. We had a really very pleasant evening. Quite early as we were exhausted.

Friday, April 11, 1969

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Seemed to spend alot of the day at the B’way. Bought Dick 2 shirts, a sweater and 2 ties. Got some underwear + rainboots for me. Had lunch in the mall + read a detective story. Came home + found the sweater was the wrong size so we had to go back. No more blue so got green. Picked up Dick’s slacks. Packed. Finally left the house at 10:30. We went to Jack + Joyce’s for 2 drinks + then caught the plane at midnight. I’d put the dogs in Pet Town today. They looked so forlorn when I left them. Flight to Chicago smooth. Changed in Chicago. No real chance to sleep + both of us tired.

Thursday, April 10, 1969

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Day began with a special delivery letter from Bill asking if the 18th St. Apt. was still mine (not since ’65) and could he stay there + wanted “constructive suggestions” What I think he really wants is more money but I’m going to stick at $350. That’s $85 a week without taxes. I wrote Sue a very long letter and I wrote Jack Underwood + sent him the legal descriptions of Leon’s Palm Springs property. I wrote Cotton + sent her $10.00 for her birthday + I wrote Jim Parker + Liza who wrote today to “Mrs Patience Cleveland Something.” Her mother + Dick were in a bad auto accident with concussions + fractured sculls etc. Liza was back there for a while + no sooner got back to L.A. than her mother had a stroke. Good God. Dick was home early + had a nap. Irene came over at 1:30 to get the key to the house and we had a very nice visit. She’s a really good woman. And I like her alot. Dick was back about 3:30 We took a nap + then I fixed the knockwurst that Leon gave me. We had 4 bottles of wine on the theory that we won’t be having any for a while?? Not too sure what sense it makes but we felt like it. We called Drue + asked her to make reservations at the Chelsea for us and for “Great White Hope.” She told us Scotty had been sick + had had a good job fall through simultaneously. There was a horrendous fight down the street with crashes + a child yelling + every dog in the neighborhood but ours adding to the din. I think it was the lady that reported the puppies to the pound. We’re leaving tomorrow night + it doesn’t seem possible. Lester called this morning to change our luncheon date.

Wednesday, April 9, 1969

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I woke at 9:00. Mary called to say she + Les had gotten married. When I said that’s wonderful, when? She was very vague + I guess it isn’t true. I called Elizabeth later because Mary told me she was sick but she sounded fine + we had a good chat. I called Pet Town + made reservations for the puppies + I called the tax collectors in L.A. again. Had to call twice but it finally developed that they had my 2nd installment payment + all is well. I unpacked suitcases + changed sheets on our bed + the guestroom Went to the bank + deposited 400 from L.A. + a $200 check from Jim Parker. Took + picked up laundry. Gave Dick’s old pants to the Salvation army. Went to the drugstore + grocery store. Had a very dear letter from Sue which I started to answer today. And a lovely note from the Cochrans. I got off my auto insurance policy to Tony Melia + also sent him the one on my house to lookover. Paid a second Cart + Crate bill. Dick home at 3:00. We bathed + took a much interrupted nap. Went to Harris + Frank’s after dinner to get a pair of grey flannel slacks. Couldn’t interest him in a sports [crossed out word] jacket. Not that there were any too great there. We came home + had a bottle of wine + I gave Dick a miltown to sleep and he did for 4 1/2 hours before waking up.

Horrid lady down the street came to complain about the dogs + I apologized + fenced them in after Barkis darted at her. The man from the pound was here an hour later with a final warning. Both dogs jumped all over him + licked his hands. He was nice but had no choice.

I threw a hundred dollar bill away + Dick found it in the bottom of the trash can, thank God.

Tuesday, April 8, 1969

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Hard to get up at 5:30. Dick pushing. I resisting. Said I’d take a cab to the airport. He was understandably irked + stormed out of the house to get some doughnuts. I was ready by the time he came back + he apologized which was awfully nice as it was mostly my fault. He took me to the airport where I had coffee + cottage cheese for breakfast!!! Plane arrived at 8:45. I got a mustang from Avis after a few problems. Drove to Neil Sloane’s where George gave me a great hair cut. He may buy his own place in the Valley. Couldn’t start car. Asked help. Kindly passerby suggested I put it in neutral. Started car. Went to 9000 Sunset to bank. Closed out savings acct. Took $500 in cash + put $574 in checking. Closed out old 6th + Alvarado acct + deposited that too. Went upstairs + saw Tony Melia who said I looked great. He laughed about my 3rd D.W.I. He’s going to arrange for more insurance on my house. It won’t cost much and he’ll deduct it from the return on my automobile insurance. Gave me an addressed envelope to send back the policy. Got to Leon’s at 12:15. Ed Brennan, his little girl Linda + Jim O’Hara there. Leon so pleased to see me. Took me to Frascati’s for lunch. We talked about working and I told him I’d like 5 or 6 good jobs in a year if I could get them. That it was all right with Dick. I also told him that if I had a baby I’d be very happy. We went to his apartment where he gave me a bar case for Dick and a cake and some cabbage soup to give Timmy. And then he gave me a shawl that has been in his family for 200 years. “From the Heart.” Dear Leon. Took him back to the office. Bob Gravitch there. He’s gotten married to someone he met one evening + is bitterly unhappy. We didn’t talk about it. Saw Dorothy. Used Leon’s phone to call tax collector. Big mess. Leon gave me the legal description of property in Palm Springs. I went to house. Paul not there. He’d taken down my portrait + put it in closet upstairs. It’s my house + I felt both hurt + angry. My feeling was he’d had enough notice to put it back up. Left nasty note to that effect. Got scrapbooks + warm clothes. My mail not out either. Went to Timmy’s + called tax collector again. The Title Co. didn’t pay my 1st installment of taxes due Dec. 8th until March 25th!! Called Beth Mortimer who was furious with them + said she’d give them hell. Had lovely visit with Timmy. Took a no-doz after dinner with coffee. Paul came by with my mail as I was leaving + said my portrait dominated him. Was glad he’d come. Turned in car, bought a present for Dick. Timmy had lent me a suit case for my scrapbooks. Had drink on plane. In at 10:45. Dick met me. We went to Valley Bar. Home + sat up + talked + drank til 2 am!

Monday, April 7, 1969

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Diet + Drinks

Called Leon + Timmy to tell them I’d be in tomorrow. Meeting Leon at his office at 12 and having dinner with Timmy. Also called Paul as I have to go by the house to pick up some warm clothes. I signed the tax forms + mailed them. Got a letter from our landlord that last month’s rent was never received! Called Vera Love Realty + they’d never gotten it. I went to the Water District + had acct put in our name. Went to the Power Co. to arrange for service on a temporary power pole on Bonita. Had called City Hall first to arrange for an inspection. Stopped in The Mint + played a few keno tickets in the hope of winning back last night’s losses. How stupid can one be. Then played a little black jack. Lost $5.00 Went to the bank of Commerce + stopped payment on the March 5th rent check which hadn’t come through + came home + wrote out another. Lady at bank had fairly scary things to say about Las Vegas mail system. Dick + I took a nap for a while and then went to the Holiday Inn for dinner. Thence to the airport where I got my ticket to L.A. 7:20 in the morning and a 9:45 pm return. Made arrangements for car through Avis. Stopped at Franks on the way home. Ralph there. I cashed a check for $100 for the trip. We stayed too long. Came home + I made a list of things to get done in L.A. and got together the necessary things. Dick wrote a letter authorizing me to use his Herz credit card on the Avis rental. All accomplished with the help of some drinks. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Sunday, April 6,*1969

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Diet + Drinks

Slept late. Dick called his Mother + Kassie + we all talked. I called Daddy + spoke with Mather + Winnie too. Then Barn View and got Cotton. The others not home. Called Colby to say when we’d be there + we had a good talk was so glad. Later tried Drue + Dick but no answer. We lay around + made love most of the day. Then drove over to the house. I had a pumpkin pie in the oven + by the time we got home it was done. Listened to Flip Wilson again + called George Spicer who’d called me. I’m going to L.A. on Tuesday. We went to the Algiers for a very good dinner. I had shrimp + a huge piece of roast beef. Then we went to the Castaways where we proceeded to lose $250 between us. Dumb as we’d both felt unlucky but we had an all right time. Home at one/thirty. At least we didn’t have a night cap. My adjustments here are mostly to the outside things like my emotional outbursts etc. And although I do think my adjustments are a little more sweeping + difficult to make, his are by no means simple. And he’s trying very hard. I’m lucky – if I can just remember that when I should! We spoke to Newcomb this afternoon + Anne just possibly is pregnant. Whee! I hope it’s true as they sounded so pleased. Mary + Les called at noon + sounded all right but a little off. I have the awful feeling that unless Mary comes out of all this she’s going to destroy Les. He seems to be in a process of disintegration. Jim + Hilary are going to come to dinner at the homestead on Saturday night + they’re giving us a cocktail party on Sunday. Our trip should be a good one.

Saturday, April 5,*1969

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Diet.

Dick off + out early. [crossed out word] I futzed about a bit. Scale registered 2 1/2 lbs less which was very nice. Sitting at kitchen table I had a sudden idea for a new approach to the idea of Simply John. Loneliness – the motivation. That’s real to everyone whereas the literal-mindedness is a very weak literary device. Sue up at 10. We chatted a little about last night. She likes one of the boys but the threesomeness was too much. We talked about L.A. + Michigan + I asked her if she wouldn’t like to go home (back to L.A.) today. She’s only got a few more days to see her friends there + there’s so obviously nothing for a 17 year old to do here. She seemed to feel alot better when I left the house. I went to the Broadway + got a very pretty pr. of lounging pajamas for Sue and 3 pairs of slacks for Dick. Also Dag Hammerskjold’s book “Markings” for myself. Went by the house on Bonita. Dick not there + Lido + his men were eating lunch Lido waved but didn’t get up and I felt very out of place + unwanted + cried in the car on the way home. Sue was in black despair which served to pull me out of my own despondency. We talked at great length about life, work, living, relationships blah blah. Sue in tears – Nothing would do. Sent her grocery shopping. She tried on the lounging pajamas which were a little too short So I let them out + rehemmed them. She kept trying to get Merle + couldn’t. Then went over to the boy’s motel to get back a necklace she loaned Don last night. They’d checked out + left without calling. That didn’t help the mood. Dick home + went straight to bed which didn’t help my mood. Sue finally got Merle + made arrangements to leave tonight at 10:15. I gave her a miltown + made her lie down. I baked an apple pie + fixed the leg of lamb. Sue up at 6:30. Dick up the same time + went out. Turned out he’d gone to buy Sue a ring and it was really a pretty one. Everyone made an effort at dinner and things were alot better. One of the dogs had dragged a horseshoe into the house + put it on Sue’s suitcase!!! We got to the airport at 9:45. Had to change flights because of a mechanical difficulty. Sue lost her ticket + the parking ticket. All a little hairy but we finally saw her off. We went to the Jungle Club and had some drinks and I got everything off my chest. WOW. Saw Lido there + one of his men named Warren. I told Lido I’d wanted to look around but felt very dumb + he said next time he’d take me around + explain. We came home + had a night cap + gave each other our presents. Dick gave me a really great traveling case + he was very pleased with the slacks which were a perfect fit.

Friday, April 4,*1969

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Diet.

Oh Lord – what a dreary day. Paid rent + wrote Timmy with money for taperecorder plus A.A. Called George Spicer + I can go to his house on Monday for hair cut. I called Joyce to say I doubted if Sue wanted to go bowling + she said she was too busy anyway. No weight loss but presume that’s due to period. Was religious on diet today. Did laundry + watered lawn. Sue up about 11. Watched me ironing handkerchiefs + said something about playing “the home scene.” She had a fairly good time but I’m afraid very little pleases her + I think this visit may have been a big mistake. Her evident disaffection for the town doesn’t help and she’s gotten quieter which is driving me nuts. I went shopping for groceries around noon. Don + Vic, Sue’s friends had stopped by + were coming to get her later. Cashed a check for trip to L.A. + got more diet food. Home at 1:30. Sue off at 3. Dick home + was irritated with me for not having called the eye doctor. Not a word about the things I have done – Just what I hadn’t. I felt extremely sorry for myself + went + lay down for a while. He left + I got up + scrubbed the kitchen floor + cried into the scrub bucket + vacuumed. Had [crossed out letters] meant to go to the Broadway but it was ten of six by the time I was finished + I was exhausted by the diet, self-pity and trying to establish contact with 2 people who don’t communicate + who make each other’s problem worse. I fell asleep + didn’t wake til 7:10. Hadn’t fixed dinner although I’d given Dick meatballs in the afternoon. Dick suggested we go bowling + I agreed. That was the best part of the day. We bowled 5 lines + although I was a little tired I could have done one more if it hadn’t been so late. Played slot machines without success. Came home + Sue was here. 11:30. A half hour of tension as far as I could see + I went to bed. Dick seemed to feel this as a rejection. Christ – I don’t know what to do anymore. Will try tranquillizers tomorrow.

Thursday, April 3,*1969

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Diet.

Got my period this a.m. If I’d waited a day I could have forgotten the stupid test. Blah Blah. Was up at 6 – the dogs very noisy. Washed our bedding + the machine started buzzing. Never realized how many noises there are – kept wondering how Sue could sleep. I wrote Leon + sent him a check for $4,000. I wrote Mary + Gen, Betty Nichols + Marian Towne to pave the way for our visit to New London. Then I wrote Daddy. I started on the Quick Weight Loss diet today + stuck to it religiously – Sue up about 11 o’clock. We went shopping and I took her to Decatur Center, Charleston Heights + Vegas Village. Came home + gave her the keys to the car. Dick here then gone again. Timmy called in the a.m. + it was good to talk to him. He has a chance to get a tape recorder from Bruce Barker at a huge discount + I told him I thought he should. In the afternoon I read some of a book called La Belle Otero a grand figure of “La Belle Epoque.” Sue out with the car. She called about 4 + had had trouble with the car – the points went out. She’d run into 2 boys from L.A. One of whom used to work at Judy’s. Talk about luck for all considered. A huge Easter Lily arrived from Newcomb + Anne How nice. I napped for a while – til six. Fixed bitke for Dick. I had lobster meat. A little cold roast beef + some cottage cheese. Sue did not eat. She went out with her friends who seemed like nice boys around 8:30. Dick + I watched “Seven Days In May” on TV. I was really exhausted by the time we went to bed at 11. Hadn’t had a drink to create the illusion of not being tired. However was pleased with myself. Sue took the record player out with her.

Wednesday, April 2, 1969

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Oh dear. Sad day – went + took a pregnancy test and got the results around 4:30. Not pregnant. Had so hoped I was. Cant be for lack of trying. Dick as sorry as I. Was up early knitted on Bill’s sweater. Read “King Solomon’s Mines” by Rider Haggard. Called Lester Kurth + made arrangements for $5,000 to be put in bank. Called Leon + told him I’d be in town on Monday or Tuesday. Spoke with Dr. Bentley about having the test and he sounded nice. Went to Rancho Sahara to the pathologist. Went to Wonder World + bought pillows + braided rug for Sue’s room + then to Vegas Village for scrapbook + groceries. Had a sandwich there. Came home after getting the car washed. Dick home which was a surprise. High wind. Made pumpkin pie + vacuumed. Then called Bentley’s office for negative results. We went + picked Sue up around 5:15. Drove down the strip. Brought her home. She’s all wound up + Dick was very tense too. I had too much to drink which was dumb. Bed at 11:30. Diet tomorrow.

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