Sunday, November 26, 1972

Up bright + early. Meditated + then had breakfast squares for [crossed out letters] breakfast + stuck a pack in my purse. Dick got the car gassed up + I took off at 9:30. It was a tiring drive with heavy traffic but the car drove beautifully and I never stopped for anything at all. I was just outside L.A. in four hours time. Got on to the San Diego f’wy from the Ventura + stopped a the first turn off to go to the bathroom, have a cup of coffee + eat my “lunch + call George. Told him I’d be there in 20 minutes. Got the tank filled up (almost a quarter of a tank left!) + took off on the San Diego f’wy. (big error – should have been on the Ventura) was well on my way to Palmdale when I realized. Got off + back on the San Diego – took the Sepulveda exit + got on Laurel Canyon to the cul de sac where it ends. Got directions (about the 3rd time) + was told how to get to Calabassis (“It’s about 35 or 40 miles”) TM or no TM I was ready to crack up. Got to Georges an hour + 40 minutes after I’d called. Judy + Brian there too. They went out for a ride in the Mazda + [crossed out letters] I had a ride in the back of George’s very plush citroen it’s all hydraulic (?) + rides on air Weird + very comfortable. George cut my hair – he + Judy + Brian are coming next weekend to Las Vegas + are going to stay in our house. I called Dick + I thought maybe he’d been drinking. In fact I was positive Then – it was only a lot later that I amended to maybe [crossed out letters] Timmy had already called the house to find out where I was! Began to have a sinking feeling as I drove to the apartment. Carried in a load of stuff very quietly. Was beginning to think I was home free when there was Timmy standing across the street looking at me. I was pretty horrible to him. He carried in one box + then I told him I’d stop by to see him in half an hour or so. He’d fixed dinner for me but I’d told him we’d eat together Monday night + I told him that I was eating with Leon. Came in + meditated in absolute desperation which is all wrong. I did get the physical relief but not immediate head help! Tried to call Dick 3 or 4 times but line busy. Saw Timmy + went to Leon’s Took him a bottle + I had 2 drinks. Second very weak. Leon gave me a lovely bag. Came home + called Timmy to say good night + went to sleep at 10 o’clock

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Saturday, November 25, 1972

This morning after meditating I wrote cards to Dick for every day next week with his vitamins measured out into each. I called Lew Garfinkle + spoke with Audrey. Called him later at 7 p.m. and have an appt. with him on Tuesday. Tried to get Mary McKinley but not in N.Y. + no answer in Easthampton. Called Steve Stover about the bowl + spoke with his Dad. Called Ann Hall about quilt waited til after 11 for Bill Fernandez + then when Dick came home I left Went to the blue chip place and gave 10 5/6 books for an electric broom for the apartment. Then over to the Stovers’ on Bonnie Brae to pick up my bowl. More beautiful than I’d remembered. Saw a Cash dome in the back yard + some of Mr Stover’s paintings. Steve in San Francisco Went over to the Sahara + won $180 then went to see Mr. Chan who wanted his money ($180!!!!) Didn’t want us to have the responsibility. Really very funny. I gave him it but left a little anxious leaving him in a hospital with all that loot. Went to the Blvd + saw Elaine – all out of “Tranquility without pills” – people have been buying it in lots of 5 + 10 – Interesting. Got some pop up books for Mat but think on 2nd look they’re too old for him. Came home + told Dick about Mr. Chan – only said I’d won the money on a slot machine. Was afraid if I told him it was on 21 he’d get upset + sometime use it as an excuse for drinking. Put the roast in the oven + meditated. Tonight + last night I seemed to go rather deeper than before (beyond the clutter) We watched Sanford + Son + All in the family and after cleaning up in the kitchen I got together some stuff for the trip tomorrow. We sat in the pool (or rather Dick did + I came out + looked at the moon) + went to bed early. Since Dick went back to Hartley things have been lovely + I’ve felt alot better since starting TM. George Spicer will cut my hair tomorrow when I get in!

Friday, November 24, 1972

I meditated after Dick left for work. Then I wrote Liza a long letter. Told her about the flower shop on Spring St and a little about meditation. I don’t ever seem to get very deep but the physical “deep rest” seems to be there as there’s a noticeable change in energy level etc. Sent her the complete Xmas book + suggested 2 very obvious drawings. Dick came home as I was leaving and gave me an envelope for the mss. I went by the P.O. + sent it off along with our paid bills then to Dr. Hartley. It was nice to see him and we had a very good sesson [sic] I think Told him I was getting into the TM thing + seemed to be profiting thereby. Dick came and said the check wouldn’t be ready at Chicago Title until 4 o’clock I decided to while away the time at the showboat Lost about $50.00 Went over to Chicago title + picked up the check. Got it to the bank at 5 + took out 300 for my L.A. trip. Called Dick to tell him I’d made it + then went to the Safeway and got a lot of groceries for my absence – TV dinners, dogfood, breakfast squares, a pretty roast and fruit. [crossed out words] Came home + meditated. Had half expected Art III for dinner but no word. We had a lovely re-Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, creamed onions, relish, cranberry sauce, gravy + stuffing. Dick in good shape + it was another nice evening. I gave him a shave. Finished reading Tranquility without Pills and its very complete in its fashion while being totally + breezily readable.

Thursday, November 23, 1972

[crossed out word] Dick brought me juice and I meditated + then we had a very light breakfast after making love. I paid some bills – the car payment, Heron books (total outstanding balance) phone bill, Bank Americard + Cal gas + as I said to Dick “There goes the VW!” We called Alice to wish her a Happy Birthday and I futzed about the kitchen. Fixed the relish tray – radishes, celery, pickles + olives. Made an apple pie, set the table + fixed white sauce for creamed onions. We called Daddy at Barn View + I had a long talk with Hilary. Evidently Cotton’s almost finished with the blanket quilt + it looks great. Told Hilary about the bowl. We talked fleetingly to Daddy (“there are only 30 seconds left to play” Thank you for calling, Darling) + even more so to Jim (“What a hell of a time to call!”) Just as I had everything under control I [crossed out letter] rediscovered the large burner wasn’t working (I’d forgotten) Then Ed + Casey arrived + Casey was a little crocked + wanted to help + I got pretty uptight but by the time we sat down to eat it began to pass and it got better through the meal. Daddy called back from the Homestead + he put James Enelow on the phone. Then Newcomb called. They had a 35 lb turkey!!!! After dinner Ed + Casey + Dick + I played monopoly. Ed was the big winner. They went home around 8 o’clock + we watched a little TV and then I meditated + we went in the pool + then to bed. It was a very nice day.

Wednesday, November 22, 1972

I felt pretty icky early this a.m. After meditating I felt better and also I noticed that my new found energy was unimpaired. It’s not so much new energy as directed energy I guess. Anyway I’ve been getting alot more done. Mr. McClinton came to the house to talk about a laundromat. He sells whirpool equipment + has been talking to Dick about starting a new business instead of the one in the University Plaza. He weighs 367 lbs and is in sad physical shape although a nice man + a straight guy. Shirley came + seemed to think a new place might be the answer. Mr. M is going to look into a location at Lucky’s on Maryland Pkwy for us. Dick left early for his noon appt with Hartley Last night he had finished the 2nd bottle all by himself during the night. He’s never done that before I went over to Wonderworld to see Daisy and play the slot machine (briefly) then went to the Boulevard + got some fried chicken and picked up our turkey. The woman who gave it to me was very funny. Mopping her face + neck all the time she gave me instructions. They’d been cooking turkeys since 2 am this morning!! I went to see Mr. Chan + explained about tomorrow although I lied + said friends from out of town were coming. I told him I’d written Doris + said I’d come back before I went to L.A. Went to Alice’s + we played Spite’n malice. Dick called + fooled her again (the Rev Williams,” this time.) I went home + unloaded the turkey + we talked. Dr. Hartley wants to see me so I asked Dick to set up an appt as soon as possible. I went to my 4th + last (for a while) session. We listened to a 3rd tape by the Maharishi + I bought a copy of “tranquillity without pills” – I like everyone there so much. Called Dick from Panorama + he put on the fried chicken. Pleasant evening – no booze and we played a little yahtzee after + went in the pool.

Tuesday, November 21, 1972

I called Wendy fairly early. She’d gone back to sleep yesterday (on the pool table at the Day Dream!!) Where she was escaping Denny but that had worked out all right. Said she’d be over today. I went to the Sahara for a while and lost again. I think I’m testing something in me with TM and gambling There is one difference but small so far and that is desperation has gone, I believe. I meditated in the library this morning + that seems like a good place. I took the sample we chose to George + Pat + went to the Valley Bank + deposited Les’ check for $700 in our joint acct with $100 out for cash. Bought a few groceries + came home. The place looks great. Wendy had gone. Dick had been drinking again and again decided not to go but he called Ivan at my request and I guess Ivan left the door open in a good way. Dick has decided to see Dr. Hartley again and I guess that’s very good news. I went for my 3rd session + tonight Beverly talked about [crossed out letters] how going over or “bringing out” stresses + talking about them was only reimplanting them deep down in our nervous systems. She said “that’s why psychiatry has the wrong technique sometimes although the right aim.” I talked with Ivan after + he said he thought it was a good move that Dick was seeking help + that maybe he just wasn’t ready yet. I called Dick from Panorama + he said he had an appt with Hartley tomorrow + asked me to bring a bottle of wine. Another of our “last bottles” I did though. We had steaks for dinner + the wine + talked + then sent out for another bottle except that Dick got two more. We finished one + left the other. The second didn’t taste good at all.

Monday, November 20, 1972

Dick started the George’s pool – complications with the dig.

I called the Hospital, talked with Jean Mitchell + uninvited Mr. Chan

After good night’s sleep we both awoke + we meditated in bed Oddly I didn’t do very well as there was no alarm or timer set. It seemed to inhibit me. Later after Dick left the house I tried again with the timer set in the other room That time it worked. I did some laundry, went to Chicago Title to sign papers, mailed letter to Doris Louie. Played some 21 at the Tropicana, won $100 and then lost it at the Sahara Went to George + Pat Garrett’s + picked out some chairs. They let me take some upholstery samples home with me. Went to the Valley Bank + deposited $500.00 in the Co. acct (Mario’s money) and the Bank of Nevada + put $100 in my acct. Bought vitamins at the Savon and took sheets to Steiner’s. Wendy was supposed to come today + I’d left the key under the mat but she didn’t make it. Dick had been drinking when I got home and said he didn’t want to go tonight I tried to persuade him and then I got upset + angry and said “Aren’t you ever going to do anything?” But I apologized slightly and said I was going anyway, that I felt it was very important and I wanted to go. So I did. Beverly told me we should have mentioned the drinking and I thought it was up to Dick either way to mention As we talked I just sat with tears rolling down my face Two others, Norman + Beverly came in + we all listened to a tape of the Maharishi and then we meditated. My stomach rumbled + after about 10 minutes or so my eyes flew open and I couldn’t seem to get back. I spoke with Ivan + cried some more but less it seemed. Came home + fixed liver – didn’t get it well done enough + Dick ate almost none. He told me he’d been “disturbed + confused” by the meditating. I told him I thought it might be the combination w/ the wine. He said he’d come tomorrow

Sunday, November 19, 1972

TM initiation
Called Daddy early + he said Lucille Brown had written Jim about the $100

I wrote Doris Louie today – quite a long letter Typed poems (crisp ma simms). We ate a big breakfast around 10:30 and then didn’t eat again although I drank alot of coffee – which I shouldn’t have (right up to meditation at least.) Ed came over with his 2 runaway boys + Dick heated the pool but it never got hot enough. We went by the main post office + mailed cards w/checks to Timmy, Leon, Margie, The Hennings etc. Then to the Cannon’s house on Exposition with our white handkerchiefs, fruit + flowers Their son met us at the door. Very self possessed (about 14) and took the offerings + gave us a form to fill out. I learned I shouldn’t have had coffee from Beverly. She talked to us a bit and then after removing our shoes we went into another room with her husband Ivan to be initiated. He chanted something in Sanskrit which is a thank you to Guru Dev for the teachings he was handing on + then gave us each our mantra and told us how to meditate. We sat there and first after getting started Dick suddenly “woke up” said “Punkin I’m awake” and I came out of it too and then we both went back. Nothing seemingly profound but when Ivan came back we both did feel very refreshed We gave him a check for $125 and came home Minutes later Bobby Clark and one of the children came over Dick met them at the door and said “Come on in, but you should have called first” – and I was pleasant as I went on fixing dinner + was not thrown into a tizzy. A very unusual + healthy reaction for both of us!!! Dick got Art III a car rental this afternoon before we went out

Saturday, November 18, 1972

Called Beverly Cannon of SIMS – Student Internat’l Meditation Society. She suggested we come about 4:00 tomorrow as we need interviews etc before starting. Then for the [crossed out word] initiation ceremony we [crossed out word] are each to bring 3 pieces of sweet fruit (no lemons) 6 flowers and a clean white handkerchief. She explained the symbolic purpose of each (I forget) + said it was a ceremony in which the teachers thanked Guru Dev (the Maharishi’s teacher) for the opportunity of passing on his teachings. Dick looked a little stubborn when I told him this + I told him some Sheriff’s deputy had also been at the lectures + he muttered “he’s probably checking up on them!” – After he left I called Liza + she reassured me + told me a hysterical story of her initiation after a horrible fight with a florist. Also told me a very wide spectrum of people are becoming involved along with some Army General who’s a meditator + introducing it into the Army Drug rehabilitation program. Scott called + we talked a little briefly – his play is opening on the 8th. Oh dear – but we’ll work out something. Went [crossed out word] the store + bought flowers + fruit and some of the same to take Mr. Chan. Had a good visit with him this time. Over an hour. He wants to see his “relatives’ especially Doris + “mama.” I promised to write Doris + see if anything could be worked out. Invited him rather tentatively for Thanksgiving dinner but then Dick hit the roof so I’ll just uninvite him. He didn’t seem terribly enthusiastic to begin with anyway!! I wrote Leon + Timmy with checks + Dick sent Margie a B’day card + I sent her the school money. Also sent rent to Hennings

Friday, November 17, 1972

Morning began with a call from Jack Essinges while we were still in bed,. Asked him to call back in 15 minutes + made coffee + called Shirley (fortunately as she was on her way out + asked her to wait til I could get him to call her. She told me Julia had called her + evidently Jack wanted to come out to go over the books himself (?!) Spoke to him + told him to call Shirley for details – He’s familiar with the laundromat business + thinks it a very good income deal. It would be a good thing if he did come out. The only thing is it would be nice if Julia or Dick Rund who have done so much for me could fly out at my expense for good reason. Wendy came about 9:30 or 10:00 – So good to see her again – we just talked til about 11! [crossed out words] Went to the bank + deposited money from my N.Y. acct to pay for our TM course (it’s $125 for the two of us) Did a few errands + went to the Tropicana + played 21 for a bit. lost $40. Put $100 in the Dion checking acct. Came home – Wendy getting ready to do the kitchen floor. Helped her move out the chairs. Dick went out in the pool. Wendy found an old empty wine bottle behind the curtains in the dressing room of Dick’s office. She left about 5:30 – The place looks great + she’s coming back Monday. Bill Tregoe called to say he’s on Love American Style tonight. We asked him + Leon to come visit in two weeks or 3 – (weekend of Dec. 8th) He’s got another Love American Style coming up. A two day job this time with the possibility of 3. Leon called later + we had a very good talk – told him I was coming to L.A. [crossed out letters] the week of Nov 27th – Dec. 2nd. We watched Bill + thought he was very good. Wish he’d directed it!

Thursday, November 16, 1972

Discussed laundromat. Shirley called Julia Mullen who seemed enthusiastic. There’s cash on hand – ($40,000) She’ll talk to Dick Rund + find out what if any tax advantages there will be if we do it before the year is out or pay off a note for $11,000 that we’d have to assume etc. Dick Rund going to get in touch with Shirley. We put the $300 in the company acct. which is getting solvent again. Dick still hast’t gotten the money from Mario but hopes (nay, plans) to tomorrow Wendy called + can come tomorrow. Couldn’t have been a nice surprise.

Wednesday, November 15, 1972

Incomplete notes on today – It rained + rained hard all day long – many places almost impassible. I went to the showboat + played 21 + Keno + lost. Cashed a check + then another with no trouble at all (they shouldn’t have let me cash the 2nd as I’d lowered my minimum to $50!) I went over to Dave’s office in the late afternoon to pick up our $300 from Pat’s suit. Mary told me Dick had called earlier (or she had called him) so I called from her phone to say I had the money + was on my way home. It rained all night and the sound was nice on the roof. Shirley called to say Dante (owner of the laundromat) turned our offer down flat – then called to say he’d submitted it to his lawyer –

Tuesday, November 14, 1972

Shirley came over in the a.m. – we discussed the idea of buying the laundromat in the University Plaza. She wants to go over the books first. The guy wants $140,000.00 – $70,000 down + the rest to be paid off at 300 a week – we made out a very rubber check for $2500 (balance in our acct 92.00) for her to show as earnest money and our offer is 40,000 down with 70,000 to be paid off as he wants @ 300 a week. We went to Foxy’s for a very late brunch – didn’t get out til almost 3 o’clock. It was raining hard + I had trouble with the windshield wipers. Went to a gas station + then didn’t know how the hood opened. Finally got everything fixed for a dollar (mostly a matter of tightening screws) Went to the Valley Bank + deposited the $500 bond money in the company acct. (makes up for the N.I.C. check!!) Went to see Mr. Chan very briefly told him I’d been ill which was true (a week ago at least. Home + early dinner then Dick went off to see Mr. + Mrs. George + I went to the University. An exhibit downstairs of student’s art work + I was early enough to look around. Saw a really beautiful bowl for $30.00. It was one I think Mother would have loved. Anyway I put a $15 deposit on it and guess I’ll send it to Hilary as I think it’s too big for us. Tonight’s lecture was very interesting and I tried to take a few notes to tell Dick what I could. The next course in TM starts Sunday and I want to go. Talked with one of the teachers present, a Beverly Cannon + she gave me a card + I took [crossed out letters] questionnaire sheets to fill out. Got home 5 minutes after Dick who has a signed contract from the Georges.. Whee –

Monday, November 13, 1972

Except for feeling rocky, it was a great day. Got up early + washed my hair + put on a court type dress. Simple, sedate etc. As I told Dick I’m beginning to amass a court wardrobe. We drove to Dave’s + ate breakfast at the Hoffbrau House downstairs Went in Dave’s car to court He disappeared. Dick + Pat (both without lawyers) were called + Pat tripped on an attaché case coming up the aisle. Scheduled for 10 o’clock. Tried to find Dave finally did in Court 10 in the Bank of Nevada bldg. Case didn’t come up til after 11. Judge Pavlikowski. Pat’s lawyer submitted Dick’s reply to Pat’s bill charging him with the profit on Mezlino’s pool minus the commission on Nelson’s. Pavlikowski looked surprised “You’re submitting this?” Anyway several conflicting contracts signed by Pat were introduced + I thought it went very well. Also Pat was pleasant which I was very grateful for After we went upstairs + got back the $500 bond that had been posted after the Carpenter business (were interested to see he’d had to put up $500 too) Came home. Dick worked in his office and I typed up Twelve days of Christmas etc. etc. The George’s called + Dick is going tomorrow night to sign the contract Whee! First pool since April or May. Then Dave called to say we’d won the case today. How great. Went to the airport p.o. + mailed off all the letters + bills + ms Home for dinner + then went to the University at 8 to hear the lecture on transcendental meditation. They call it TM. Only lasted an hour and was really fascinating. Interesting assortment of people – large age-range + occupational range I’d guess. Dick as interested as I. Home + bed fairly early

Sunday, November 12, 1972

Drunken breakfast in the wee hours and then into bed where we stayed most of the day – getting out only to go into the pool + make love + go to the refrigerator for something cold. Harold Stern called at one point and I called him back later. He thinks he can do something with “Crisp moss” Wants more material – talking in terms of Feb or March Told him I wanted Liza to do the illustrations. Also asked him if he could use some money. He could + we said we’d send him a thousand. (that had been Dick’s idea from the first call on as he said we’ll be paid back in spades when Harold gets off the ground.) Called Liza after + she was delighted at the idea. Thanked her for the bluechip stamp books + told her there was a lecture at the University on transcendental mediation Mon. night Dick had taken it out of the paper. She said it was really the greatest and we should try I told her I’d get the hymns + carols typed up + would send them off ASAP. We watched TV and read + slept and did not drink anything and had a late picnic in bed complete with pickles. We tried to call Izzy + friends at the Hacienda at 4 but no response. Dick told me Izzy told him in a drunken confidence that she’d had an affair with Peter!

Liza said she thought there should be pen + ink sketches for the Crisp Moss Garland