Up at 6:00 just to say goodbye. Dick home for a stolen moment at 8:30. Off again at 9 I slept after fiishing “Midnight Cowboy.” Woke at 11-called Irene to say I’d be late. Made bed etc. bathed went to the bank + over to Irenes. Pleasant visit. Left at 2:30. Went shopping at Safeway + over to Vegas Village for prints. Not ready yet. Put down deposit at Westward Ho for Liza + John. Called Ethel’s knitting bar but the sweater not ready yet. She’ll have it tomorrow. Dick home + we went out + looked at a few houses. Depressing as hell. And my mood contagious. Nice letter from Daddy + also from Bess. WE took a npa. Leon called + told me to call him back. Secrets-called + a friend of his has made a fur cape for me which Leon is going to send. All a bit confusing but quite exciting. I fixed dinner except that it took forever + we didn’t eat til ten o’clock-outside on the patio. However we talked alot in the waiting period over drinks + we’ve decided to buy land in Paradise Valley + build ourselves. A relief to make the decision. We went to bed about eleven. Also talked about weight + I told Dick to ask Bentley. He weight 169 or 15lbs over average and 29lbs over “ideal”-for his weight. He had great resistance at first to the idea but then admitted in 1957 he weight 150lbs + could do anything + everything he doesn’t now + more.
Left house at 6;30. Dick took me to airport. Knitted + read on plane “Midnight Cowboy.” Excellent. Got car at airport + drove to house. Arrived at 9:30. Paul made coffee. Mary called with new unlisted number. I called Liza + gave her address of motel. Spoke to Timmy. Measured some of the furniture. Odd but Paul makes one nervous. I guess its because he’s so utterly involved with Paul. Caroline came at 11 o’clock. I liked her. We went through the house + I’m going to take most everything. Will leave some small tables + a few lamps and the table with 4 chairs from Creative East we had alot of coffee + then went to meet Jim + Bill at Cyrano’s. My first time there + I liked it. Over to Leon’s next at 2:30. Such a brief visit. Bob followed us to Leon’s house where Leon limped up the stairs + got 3 3/4 lb cheesecake for Dick + a cherry pie. His leg is very painful-I kissed hi goodbye + drove out to Mary’s new place with a loaf of bread as a present from Leon. Got there + found the house with some difficulty. Car there + everything piled all over the place but no Mary. Called upstairs + down + finally left bread + note + went to airport. Paid cash for car-$20.52. Plane late leaving but made up time. Finished a square. Dick met me. WE went to Holiday Inn for dinner + then came home. Letter from Jim Parker with mal [?] payment + letter from Luise who’s still in the hospital. Had gotten the money. We called Mary + finally got her. Spoke with Les too. She was drunk. Had been next door when I came. As I’d called before it seems she could have made the effort but I certainly didn’t care as it was a relief. Blah Blah. We went to bed around 11:00.
Called Mary who was in the midst of moving. Called Paul to say I’d be there tomorrow – Called Irene + will see her Weds. Called Len-He’s been sick for 3 days with a bad leg-I made plane reservations + I called Hertz for a car tomorrow. I went to the Post office, to Vegas Village for pints (not ready yet) to Dana McKay’s to pick up “Is Paris Burning?,” also got 2 Agee books and “Midnight Cowboy” went to Bank + deposited more in our household from Dick and to Panorama to shop + play the machine (briefly). Home at 3:30-Had changed sheets + watered lawn. Dick home-he’d made an appt with Bentley for Thursday. So glad. He’s feeling slightly better. He lay down for a nap and I started to wash the kitchen floss. Timmy called in the middle sounding very sad + depressed. Think I finally got him cheered up. Hung up + Liza called. She+ John are arriving with Courtney Thursday evening. As Dick has to work the next day they decided to stay at a motel. Liza is pregnant again and they’re both very happy about it which is lovely. I wish I were too but no longer the way I did with Peter. Then a baby would have been someone instead of a husband to make up for the emptiness. Now a baby would be an addition to a great relationship. I’d like one as much for Dick as for me and that’s a reassuring feeling. I made them reservations at the Westward Ho and then fixed real parmigiana for dinner. We watched Gunsmoke + something else + then Family Affair. The phone kept ringing just before + once in the middle which bugged the hell out of me next time. I”m taking it off the hook. Period. Leon called after which was very dear of him.
Dick really battered + sore. We lay in bed all morning. I put some lotion on his legs but it didn’t help much. Tried to read Paul without success. WE decided to go to the Landmark for lunch. Saw Marie-who used to work at the airport with Laura. She was so delighted to see Dick it made me very happy. Nice lunch in the terrace room + then we went up to the bubble on top. Both of us found the place rather sinister. Strange to have such an odd similar reaction. We left + were glad to be out. Went to Panorama for a few supper things + tried the slot there with no luck. Came home + Dick found the truck had a flat on the front so took it to be fixed. I paid the rent, the phone bill + wrote Seth. Tried Paul again. We napped. Tony called. I fixed dinner-steaks in wine sauce, potatoes, salad + roll. We answered Jimmy’s questionnaire. After dinner watched TV-Ed Sullivan – Hee Haw + Mission Impossible. Bed. We’ve had three days together + even though Dick hasn’t felt well, they’ve been lovely. I really love Dick so much.
Joyce called at 6 to say there was a flat on the boat trailer + Jack had gone to have it fixed. That gave us a little more time. We had coffee + put on bathing suits + gathered up stuff. Left the dogs out in the yard-Left a not for Mr Larson. Got to J + J’s about 7:15. Took off in their car. I knitted a whiskey bottle square. We went to a place in Arizona on the Colorado River. Had breakfast there + then went out in the boat. What a beautiful day + what heavenly though hot weather. The scenery extraordinary. Tall rocks like old cathedrals on either side. Ghosts of Indians silhouetted against the sky. No luck fishing at all. The chef at the Tropicana had made up some dough ball material for Joyce. I didn’t have a drink until after two so kept in pretty good shape all day. Dick had mixed up a pretty potent vodka mix which put him to sleep rather early on for a while. We got into several coves where shear pins broke-twice-but there were spares so disaster was averted. Went into one cove with high current. Where we swam. Dick got badly burned. I’d been using lotion so came out of it all right. Dick took us all to dinner at Dante’s in Henderson He didn’t feel too hot (or rather felt too hot) so we took his home in a bowser bag. Home at 8:30 or so. Light traffic all day. The dogs perfectly happy after day out doors. Had note from Seth about new range for Alaria + a couple of bills. Dick + I stayed up for a while drinking in bed + talking. He felt so badly that I made him promise to call Bentley on Monday which he agreed to. We talked alot about alot of things.Religion etc and George that really is a problem as far as Dick is concerned. I asked him if I might talk to Irene + he said I could-all I want to do is pave the way if possible for a breaking up. I know + believe Dick is right-it’s just that I don’t see how it can be done without hurting George. But sometimes I guess you have to hurt someone (?)
Dick not working, pleasant day though very hot. We lay around in bed quite late. I called Val de Vargas + everything’s set up there. Called Jim Brown + talked with his wife Carolyn. Am going to L.A. Tuesday to go over the house with her. Called Paul + got a girl-I asked “Is this Marty?” Answer “No” Left a message + had the feeling I might have screwed up Paul’s sex life a little-we went to the Stardust Country Club for brunch and I felt pretty poorly couldn’t figure out what it was. Finally decided it might be the contact lenses after 3 or 4 hours of glasses, plus heat, plus hunger. Blah Blah. We looked at a couple of jobs enroute. Nice brunch. Drove through Paradise Valley looking for places for sale. Went out to Jack + Joyces. Jack there. Asked us fishing with them tomorrow. Dick had said he had to work but changed his mind. I knitted an ice cream cone square. We invited J + J for ribs tonight + then went shopping. Came home +rested. Dick fixed the ribs and I made salad. They got here about 7 o’clock. What a nice evening even though we’d forgotten to leave the cooler on when we went out. Showed them scrapbook + they really liked it. We sat outside + after dinner set off the fireworks J+J brought us. They left a little after ten and we went to bed. meeting tomorrow at 6am?!
Good + busy day. Up when Dick left. I wrote Daddy his Father’s Day (“Happy July”) card. Wrote Elizabeth, wrote a 6 page letter to Gertrude, wrote a long letter to Margie + wrote notes to Mather + Winnie Bess Gray + Regina Kleen. Send photos to all + told all about the TV show. Jim Brown called at 11 o’clock. Had decided not to take the house-because of the furniture-his wife has furniture. Asked him if he’d take it unfurnished-he said yes. Told him we’d been thinking of buying a house + that if I was moving part-might as well move all. So they are going to take it. I must call Val talk with Dick + Paul + then call him back. He sounds alot like Bill (whose “favorite brother” he is) I went to the post office to mail letters, went to the bank to deposit the $400 Dick gave me yesterday + went to Vegas Village to get more prints made + 10 enlargements of our Lookout Mt picture. Bought groceries. The fuller brushman (with unlikely name of Bob Wyre) came today. Had planned to clean but only got [crossed out writing] bedroom vacuumed. Dick home early + wanted to do kitchen floor together tomorrow-I made a chocolate pie for him + after he got a haircut we took a nap. Only I didn’t. I read + finished “Little Dorrit”-Dick snacked quite a bit + then fell asleep-for about 3 1/2 hours was wakened by phone. Exhausted. At 10:30 I took him out to dinner at the Rave. The food there just great now + very reasonable. Only Dick just couldn’t eat. Said he felt rotten + had pains in his chest-I panicked in light of recent Reader’s Digest article “secret heart disease” and Bob’s death. Said we had to see a Doctor. He immediately felt better-home at 12:30. Bed.
Really dreary day-was in a bad depression. Had hangover. Had put weight back on. Dick not working again. Went over driver’s manual + learned the Nevada rules. Fairly simple. Am still so completely disorganized with papers and stuff. Taxes due soon. ALL the securities etc. in New York. The house in Lose Angeles + me here. Patience Cleveland Patience Hobbs Patience Michels. Five checking accounts. Went to the motor vehicle dept. driving Dick’s car. I was upset at the prospect of lying and Dick was very short tempered. Got there + they demanded identification which I had none (which didn’t have Cleveland on it). A social security card acceptable so we went to the Federal Bldg + applied for one. It will take 3 weeks. Dick said “Well you were determined not to get your license” which I didn’t feel was fair. We ate at the Hafbran, saw Dave Abbantage + went to a stationery store where I got some big filing envelopes. Came home + I paid some bills-Rent, phone + service for the house and nat’l geographic for me. Wrote head of L.A. Smith club about change of name + change of address. Wrote Sheldon Andelson about second bill. Think it was a duplicate but don’t know. Mad out check for L.A. tax but have to write letter. Dick at barber’s. Stopped at Raven. Came home + I went + took a nap. We couldn’t talk. I couldn’t sleep. Mary called-drunk + hysterical. She’s sending Margie home-she has her “on the police blotter” She’s talked to Sheila-the only thing I said was “why do you have her on the police blotter” and then she hung up after saying she shouldn’t have called me. I hope poor Margie does go back to Michigan. We went out to dinner at a place called the Danube. I thought the food was pretty dreary but we got everything talked out and that was worth it. I’m still bleeding and it’s beginning to bother me.
Another day of not working-wind very bad. Dick + George went out in the morning and I pottered about + went shopping. Alot of mail including tax bill from L.A. with a big mistake on it. Mary sent the pictures with what I consider the snottiest note ever written in it’s entirety. “Dear Patience-Mr. Church has suggested that a photographer would charge $100 for following a wedding party. Need I say more dear. Love to you + Dick-Mary.” I could send her an itemized bill for plan fare for two and hotel reservations plus corsage + food + drinks that way she’d owe me about $10.00. The pictures aren’t too good. A few nice ones, four single shots of Les and quite a few fuzzies. I do look fat but I don’t look old. We took the VW to the car wash and then went to Panorama market. I made a pumpkin pie for Dick. Ralph Chistianson (sp?) came over around 4:30 with some money for Dick + stayed for 3 drinks. Too early to start + I’m beginning to think we’re drinking too much too regularly. Didn’t much care for Ralph. Cliff Cornwell (sp?) came over afterwards + is the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Both pool salesmen. We had curried lamb for dinner + wine. Rice + broccoli. Afterward we played cards. Paul called + is going to India for two weeks on Monday. Suggested he ask Phemy if she’d like to stay in the house. Dick then said he thought I ought to ask Juan to keep an eye on the place. He may be right.
Up around 10:30 or so-Grey day. Read more of the “Lady + [crossed out writing] Her Doctor” – an odd but interesting book that I seem to have read before. Drove to Mary’s around 12:30 – Had coffee – saw Patsy + Margie – I’ve missed them enormously. Margie is making a really marvelous poster for us. Abby is home sick. Mary drove us in the station wagon to the Busch Gardens in the Valley-thunderous rain clouds + some rain but we pressed on. Thank God – what a truly lovely place – we went first on a 10 minute mono-rail through the factory (or brewery) which was fascinating + spooky + then we went into really breath taking gardens that nothing had indicated. Peacocks wandering loose – flowers everywhere – [crossed out writing] ponds + brooks + little islets. We saw a bird show with 6 trained cockatoos, penguins + otters, macaws + toucans + all laid out in a leisurely way. Nothing cost money except a 50¢ boat ride which we didn’t take + 50¢ for the parking. Free beer is served at 3 places-the Busch Bavarian Pavilion, the Budweiser Pavilion + the Michelob Terrace. It was freezing cold by the time we left but all of us had a lovely time. Had another cup of coffee at Mary’s drove home – am going to see Dr. Zhivago with them tomorrow. Fixed carrots + broccoli + salad for dinner – Peter brought some frozen prepared fish. Very good dinner- Watched TV after – Saw “The Spirit of St. Louis” – very good. Played with Humbug + the puppies. Peter didn’t work on his tape tonight.
Up around 9:30-Futzed about-Called Mary. Then I called both Colby + Hilary to talk about the golden wedding celebration-It’s going to be less than the $1250 originally thought of as they’ve decided against the Boston caterer. Mather evidently had the glorious idea of a one way trip to England for them. When I told Mary she said why not a round trip for one of them-I met Mary at 1:30 at the Egyptian and we had coffee + went to “Hawaii”- I was glad to see it + liked it. Don’t know why I let myself get talked into not seeing so many things. We came home around 5:30 – Peter had done the shopping and I fixed dinner-broccoli casserole, salad, hamburgers, etc. Peter home about 6:00 – Played his tape for Mary who enjoyed it – After several drinks we had dinner-then played Red Dog until almost midnight- Mary had wanted to learn. I also taught her the bitch solitaire that never works – for which she’ll no doubt thank me the rest of her life. Mary left [crossed out writing] + soon after Peter went to bed. I stayed up + drank beer because I felt like it. I’m at 6’s + 7’s as the saying has it-Didn’t go to bed until 3 or 4 and then just lay down in my clothes.
Up about 9:30-Peter worked on his tape things-he’s been getting some very funny bits-especially the ones he does by himself out of his own head. He left for the club about 10:30-I crocheted around 2 squares + knit another bottle. Read a chapter of the Renaissance book on Petrarch-very moving. I fixed a bean casserole for this evening and then I started washing windows. Did all the kitchen windows-inside + out. Also washed the kitchen curtains, hung them out to dry then ironed + rehung them. Cleaned the various mirrors around the place. Not that I want to see myself but better me than my state of mind. Went over to Bernie’s theatre in the Unitarian church. Saw Kay-gave her a copy of “One Way Rendulum” saw Stuart + Phemy + Bernie + met a few people. Nothing for me to do. Peter not there. Went to Safeway + cashed a check for $15.00 which leaves me about $14 in my acct. Had to buy gas. Bought a pint of bourbon, some pork chops + a few other groceries. Came home + fixed salad + pork chops cooked in cider (gourmet cookbook). Phemy called which was very nice of her. Peter home at 7. Mary Parker came down for a drink. The we (P + I) had dinner. Good. Humbug’s little black friend, Chris came by. Asked him + his owner Larry Brady in. The dogs played hard + Hummy was exhausted. Peter + I went at 10:15 to the Gilmore Drive-In to see “After the Fox” with Peter Sellers. I thought it was funny-Peter didn’t. Home via the Safeway where he cashed a check for the next few days-I’d been trying to economize but he hasn’t even noticed. Parker McCormic is in town-wrote a very cosy letter to Peter about his grandchildren + he was amazed that it bothered me at all-when I can’t even have a child-oh hell. Self pity never paid the rent either.
I called Lyle today-too busy to talk. Packy’s coming out here for the Mark Taber opening. Got a note from Chuck Barres productions asking for the names of friends or relations with at least 2 children between the ages of 6 + 12. Called Lee Gould who gave me the names of some friends – Lyle + Lee Pober. Called them + submitted their names. I changed our sheets and vacuumed the whole house (whole downstairs) then I washed the kitchen floor and waxed it. I’m going to try to do some piece of housework each day-order on the outside might help. Timmy called + invited us to dinner + I accepted. He included Mary Parker. In the morning I started the “Heritage” book of the Renaissance very interesting. I finished another beer stein square + tonight at Timmy’s I knit a bottle. I’m so anxious to get that blanket finished I can’t see straight. We had Shepard’s pie which was delicious and watched a very little TV and Timmy read aloud to us from his brother Peter’s (Anthony Carson) travels in the South of France as a young man. Came home + had coffee + went to bed-
Jack Donaldson called to say he didn’t have the film. He must have left it with Reve or lost it. We staggered up + got dressed for the appt. Had started to go in separate cars but then decided to go with Peter even though it meant his driving me home before going to the club. I said I was sorry for what I said last night, that I wouldn’t leave him, that he meant more to me than children but I don’t think he really cared. I have no way of knowing. Oddly enough we had a very good appt. Everyone laughed alot. Came home to find out the appt. had been cancelled but Don couldn’t reach us in time. No wonder they laughed. But we couldn’t have lost anything by it so what the hell. Peter went to the club. I futzed about-Called Jo Krantz who was home sick. Don is having Lionel change his last name to Grant. I lay in the sun a little and then went to bed for a while. We heated up last night’s stew for dinner. Mary Parker had to come home from work today-with a throwing up hangover. We went to see “The Devils” at the Mark Taber forum. Saw Gordon outside, saw Ditta, Eleanor Peters + a friend + Doug Lambert + a friend. Very dreary play really + not overly well directed. Nicely staged but not directed. Liked the male lead-Joyce Ebert in the Anne Bancroft part got very tedious. We left after the 2nd act at 11 o’clock. Also Fran Spaner + Ed Balin. I wore my Korean evening coat-big deal.
Oh Lord-another of those days-diary + blanket squares and good intentions. Invited Mary + Paul to dinner- Sent in some sweepstakes coupons for “Awake” and Kodak-Surely somewhere there’s some money for someone. Went shopping at Carl’s for the makings of boeuf Bourginon- Took some 4 hours to make. Peter worked on a taped sketch of a dentist today. Very funny. I had a few suggestions which went down very badly. We are at an even worse stage of communication now-or were by the time today ended-Mary called. She’s sick with the 48 hour G.I. – trots etc. Ugh. Poor thing. We had martinis before dinner-big mistake I guess. The dinner itself delicious but hardly worth the trouble-wine-then beer + another but more ghastly one of our eternal fights-this time Peter told me flatly that he doesn’t want children and I told him that after the Golden Wedding anniversary I”m going to leave him. Surely the grounds are the oldest + most obvious. The only thing that makes it all so awful is that I do love him and on the other hand-my very grounds-I’ll soon be too damn old to have children anyway. Don Schwartz called with a joint appt for us at Lee Lacy’s tomorrow at 11:05 for Roman Meal Bread. Left 3 wake up calls. Also tried to locate my old “Day in Court” film – called Jack Donaldson + Reve Barskin.