Carl Stokes won + Hatcher – two negro mayers [mayors] and old Mother Backlash in Boston lost so that’s a step forward. Was up early – went to pick up Bess + take her to work. Had to cancel my appt. Went out to Columbia Ranch at 10:30 – Katherine McLeod + I (I thought) were the only call backs. They liked my reading + I felt very good about it – did it once with English accent + once without. Katherine unhappy about hers – I thought I had the job. Was home about noon + took a long nap. Paul + Mary went to the Post Office + bought me a couple of sheets of the New American Artists issue. Also picked up a registered pkge for me which had the twins lockets. They’re lovely. Katherine McLeod called to say that her agency (Pacific Artists) had gotten the Dupont commercials (she didn’t) They have re-titled the one we were up for “The Gym Teacher” and they got a nice tall gangly girl to do it. I wrote yesterday that even if they used somebody else I’d have contributed something. Well, I did but it does hurt. And it makes me a little mad. Peter was properly sympathetic when he came home and that was nice for a change. He had a bad day too – His stock is down to 14 1/8 after hitting 17 5/8 two days ago + although he’d had a sell order in at 15 3/8 they went right through it. Maybe it’ll pick up again tomorrow or soon. I hope so. We had a good dinner. I finished my sweater and it’s about 3 sizes too big which is pretty depressing. I went upstairs to talk briefly with Mary Parker – I’m going to hire her tomorrow to help me clean the house from top to bottom. It’s beginning to drive me buggy and I cannot do it all myself. She’s getting up very late these days because of Paul’s rehearsals but from 2 – 7 will be 5 hours + I can get a good morning start. We went to bed a little after 11 o’clock. Jill Chandler called – she + Lew Brown got married this summer. Mary called + was depressed but when I tried to call her back I couldn’t get her.
Red Sox won – 3-1
Up at 8:30 – Peter had left. I felt sick + miserable. Leon called for Peter + I located him at Bache. Watched the baseball game. Lonborg pitching for Boston. The sox won 3-1. Good game. They go back to Boston now and play again Wednesday. Waslewski will start for Boston which is good news. The mail brought a very sweet letter from Aunt Dorrie, a rather wild one from Rita and a sad one from Drue. Dr. + Mrs. Taylor are still talking about a divorce. It was a pretty grim day all told. I seemed to spend alot of it in tears and got nothing done. Michael Baird called from U.C.L.A. and wants Peter + me to do a reading for their fine Arts Department on a seminar called “Theatre of Fact” – Melnitz presiding. Two days at Lake Arrowhead. Selections from “The Deputy, After the Fall, The Investigation” + Two Others. Told him I was interested but had my doubts about Peter. Fee a flat $100 for the couple. Last year Karl Sevenson + Joan Thompkins did it. I went shopping for dinner. Came home + fixed a fairly drab supper. Peter home at 7:30 – Not interested. His stock has gone up which is good for him. I could be a non-existent person for him. I am beginning to feel like one. Called Mike Baird + said no but said I’d still like to + he said if I could find another actor fine. Thought of David Lewis + tried to call him but no answer. Read a lovely book by Jean Stafford called “The Catherine Wheel” Lights out around 12:15. I said Good night + Peter didn’t even answer. That did it + I found myself bathed in tears again – took a miltown + slept in the living room. Couldn’t stop crying. I should be seeing Bob Iverson twice a week I guess just so as to have someone to talk to. Life is so utterly unbearable. Does Peter know what he’s doing to me? And do I know what I am doing to myself?
Up early-Diary-Mary called-said she’d had a beautiful letter from Newcomb explaining about her financial set up etc. Would like to share the letter with Peter + me. She’s coming over on Wednesday with Abby. Chitchatted a bit-all very pleasant. Notice in yesterday’s Variety that Bert Remsen has been made a casting director for “The Fugitive.” Peter called him + he’s gotten a direct pick up on his phone now-Poor Bert!-Still no news about our getting into Theatre West-not that we expect to but it would be nice to know when we’re blackballed at least. Asked if they were free next weekend for a small gathering for Annie-but they’re off to Los Angeles for their anniversary. I set my hair + lay in the sun-Then fell asleep inside. My energy is not at what could be called a peak. Mary + Paul had a party this evening which turned out very pleasantly. A gallon of spaghetti sauce was consumed by 9 people + proportionate amts of spaghetti. I had only a little salad + thought the smell of the food would drive me mad but I sat over on the couch with Jim Parker which helped. Dan Kemp from class + his wife Edith were there-He’s a genial bore and she seems very nice. An enigmatic (shy I think) man named Zapata Modesto sat quietly in the corner talked to (+ at) only by Paul. Joe Hanwright + Diane rounded out the group after the first 3 left the rest of us went up at 11:45 to “The Cinema” on Western + Santa Monica-long lines of beards. They were showing a Japanese film called ‘The Shark”-Diane + Joe stayed but the rest of us had early mornings ahead so came home. Bed about 1-the market dropped badly this week (despite a late rally Friday afternoon) both Xerox + Syntex down 16 points.