Woke early – first at 5 – then at 7:30. Ordered coffee + made alot of calls. Called Mary Parker – slightly strained conversation. Called Mary Jean. Sorry not to see her again Called the Haases. Mary had a baby boy, Matthew + was coming home at 12 noon – too late for me to call. I called Aunt Hope who’s in the hospital. Learned Ema had had a hysterectomy last year. How awful. Called Colby + again assured her about Alaria. Then called Daddy + we had a really nice talk. He’s definitely decided against the A.O.A. meeting in Hot Springs for which I’m sorry but it’s up to him. I then spoke for a while with Julia Mullen + think we understand each other about my acct. I wrote last minute postcards to Jack + Joyce + George + Irene, Frank’s bar, the Valley Bar + Bettye + Bill Gardner. Got packed in a frantic swirl of activity. Only $13 owing on the bill which left me lots of cash. Scotty picked me up in a cab at 11:45 + we got to the Café St. Denis at the dot of 12 to meet Druscilla who came in at 15 after. Funny Funny lunch. Two drinks + then wine alternating with coffee and No-doz. Told Scotty that Dick said “I thought I was a flop in New York” to which Scotty said “Oh no he was a smashed hit.” He wrote Dick 2 matchbooks to that effect. We all split up a little drunk around 2:30 or so. I took a cab to the Chelsea + picked up my bags + then my driver, Sebastiano Rufino, waited for me on Wall St. I executed my will. gave $200 to Louis for John Lindsey, hugged him + told him Druscilla was scared of him + left. It took a good hour to get to Kennedy + I had just time to call Mrs. Davis. Then boarded the plane. Funny seat partner “Call me John Kelly or Adam Cain or Herbie Finch” We had several drinks + then after dinner we played cards so the time passed very quickly. Arrived and Dick came to meet me very drunk. As I’d been keeping myself going since lunch + making a real effort under more than ordinary temptation to stay sober I was both angry + hurt. After all it was only 8:15 his time. We got back to the house + had some wine. Scotty called to give me the name of Dotti’e scholarship fund. Then Dick + I had a very upsetting evening dwelling mostly on my money. Which seemed pretty damned unfair. Then I found out he’d been drunk last night + called Leon to discuss my money with him. It was too much + I went to bed in tears.
Up about 10:30 – Scotty called Came down around 11:30 – brought coffee. I learned that Dick got locked out last night. Drue had fallen asleep + Dick was pounding on her door + Scotty phoning her before she woke up. Scotty got us a ham + cheese sandwich which we halved. He’d gotten his passport this a.m. + visa + leaves for Scotland + England on May 5th. For about 2 weeks. I really think that’s marvelous. I gave him a ride over to “the smallpox booth” + then went down to Wall St. to see Louis Auchincloss. Cashed a check first at the downtown branch of the Bank of N.Y. My signature not on file so they had to call Jim Fleming. Nice time as always with Louis Auchincloss who signed my copy of World of Profit. Showed him wedding pictures + talked too much. Have to go back tomorrow to execute it. Went to the Owl + Pussycat + bought 2 really great smocks. Pouring rain. Eddy + Amelia very funny about the party. I had some hot dogs + sauerkraut around the corner before going up to the opening at Staempfli. Good time there. Dick + Drue, Lucille Walker, Edna somebody, Lorna Livingston. Laura Goldman + Morton Kaish (sp.) whose painting I’d loved so at Drue’s. Luckily I remembered his name + could tell him so. The exhibit left me cold. Somebody named Steven Greene. I found the paintings very cold + agree with Drue that they were really horribly phallic. We closed the place at 10 of 8. (party 5-7) I went to Stark’s for dinner Drue had to eat with the painter + didn’t want to. Back to the Chelsea at 9 o’clock. Called Dick who wasn’t there. Then he called me. Turned out he’d been asleep. Went to get the dogs + then called me back. Scotty called + he + I + Drue are having dinner tomorrow at the Cafe St. Denis. Went to sleep about 1 am.
We got up around noon. Sun shining. Too late for breakfast at the motel so we had “lunch at Linton’s” – then motored leisurely back to N.Y. Only the last 25 miles or so difficult. Traffic across the Goethals Bridge thick but almost stationary on the Verrazano + the Belt Parkway was just creeping along. We turned in the car + went over to United. I bought Dick the “Time Capsules – 1940” to read on the plane + a couple of detective stories for myself also a copy of Louis’ book so he can autograph it. We had quite a good dinner at The Horizon Room + then it was time for Dick to go. Just hated to see him leave. We’d been having so much fun. Took a cab back to the Chelsea – shared it with 2 other passengers + it was hairier than any flight I’d ever taken. Was back at the hotel by 7:30. Tried to get a TV set to watch the Tony awards but they were all taken. Went upstairs, undressed + read a rather stupid story until Dick called from the airport at 11:30. Went to bed soon after. We’ve had a pretty exhausting time.
We woke around eleven. Dick called Philadelphia + said we’d be there by 6. Lester called to see if we were coming over but we felt pretty shaky. Dick went out for coffee. We kept trying to reconstruct party. I remembered I’d been angry at him + that he’d been absent a long time. Seemed funny this morning. We called Lester to say we couldn’t make it + got underway about 1:30. Stopped in New Jersey at a Howard Johnson’s. Service incredible but funny. The girl’s first day. Pleasant easy, drive down and very pretty misty day. We got to Dick’s Mother’s house at 4:15. Dick more nervous than I’d seen him actually + introduced me to his brother George (totally unlike him) + his Mother who’s an attractive woman and his sister Kassie who is really a dear. Dick then went straight out to get some beer + I sat + showed our wedding pictures. Dick back + restless as a bed bug. We left to find a motel and I mentioned the lovely picture over the mantle and he said “what picture.” His brother George who is very sober seems to bug him. (Seems??!!) We went to the Roosevelt Mohawk + got a nice room + had a half sandwich each. I just hadn’t been ready for the beer. We stopped to see Dick’s former partner George Oldeman + wife Dot. Another old friend Tom Cristy there I liked them all but think Dot + George have an odd way of treating their kids (“The three youngest are angels” – but they’re bound to grow up + they may run out of angels). We promised to come back later + went to pick up Mrs. Michels + Kassie. We went to the Mansion for a really lovely dinner and I enjoyed them immensely. We had a drink + 3 bottles of wine + we got along very nicely. I asked Dick to call George + say we’d come a little later. It then developed George + Dot had had a fight in the interim. We went back to the house + I saw some family pictures. Kassie + I do look alike in photographs. The two older boys Andy + Fred were very attractive + there was a darling picture of Dick in his class at the seminary which his Mother gave us. Dick surprised they had pictures. We left about 11:30 + went to meet George + Dot who appeared in separate cars. The bar run by Walter + Helen Somebody. Who were very nice. We had lots to drink + hardshelled crabs + Helen made Dick a sandwich. It was a long full day but alot of fun + we got back to the motel at 2:30. Best of all Dick decided to drive me back to N.Y. + leave from Kennedy. Nothing could have made me happier.
Scotty called us in the morning – asked him to our party tonight. Spoke with Drue. We’d changed time til 9:00 Made more sense Drue + Dick are giving us the tickets last night for a wedding present. We went up to Chemical Bank (NO more N.Y. Trust in the name!) + met Lester + Julia + had a quick look around. Went over to Sardis for a very gay lunch with 3 bloody Mary’s for me + 3 martinis for Dick. Everything had gone so well that I told Lester to invite Julia I’d originally said no while we were still in Vegas + Dick was up tight about meeting people. Julia is handling my acct. now. She’s a gay pleasant person + seems extraordinarily with it. Lester’s dachshund [crossed out word] is named Herman + that clinched it with him + Dick. His dog is about to be a father + we’ve been offered a puppy. At the moment we’re taking it. Next stop Bank of N.Y. at 2:45 to cash a check Went to see Jim Fleming who promptly took us over to the Algonquin + bought us 2 more drinks. Then at 4:30 back to the Chelsea where we started inviting people. Co + Russell Eddy + Amelia, Drue + Dick. Mary Parker + friend (named Polly Ferguson). Mary + Saul. (They came although Mary was going into the hospital tomorrow for induced labor with second baby!) Scotty + Harriet. Harold couldn’t come. Nor Lester + I couldn’t reach Peggy Pope. Dick was helpfully pouring bourbon the while I called! We went out at 8:15 to get the liquor + snacks + glasses – etc. for the party. No time to eat dinner. Talk about dumb! All the above mentioned appeared. Dick was absent for an hour or so. Went to get the car + planned to drive to Philadelphia + “get that over with.” Thank God he changed his mind + “went into a bar to sober up.” Thank God They wouldn’t serve him so he came weaving back midway into the party. Having missed Russell in White Nehru Jacket + beads who’d been combing the local bars with Eddy as support in search of the missing guest of honor. Drue + Dick had taken a nap + almost missed the party. Arrived when Scotty did at midnight. Harriet there in plaid trimmed dark glasses upset by her face lifting but from what I remember she looked great. Mary Parker sat on Dick’s lap + I got furious. Scotty got very drunk + chased Polly F. into the closet. Mary + Polly left soon after. Dick dozing through alot. Eddy + Amelia, Dick + Drue + Scotty the last to leave but much of this is later information
Woke around 8 to discover I’d gone to bed with my lenses. Took them out + went back to bed. Eyes sore as hell. Jessie came by to say goodbye + told us Mary Jean was coming to lunch. I took a shower hoping to be able to see a little better but couldn’t. Mary Jean looked wonderful + she + Dick got along famously. “Lunch” consisted of a couple of bloody Marys!! When I asked Colby did find some crackers. I asked Colby if she wanted Alaria + she was delighted. I put the price at $15,000.00 which I know is Way under but I’d like her to have it. After Mary Jean left, Dick + I drove in to the Chelsea Hotel. The first room was so god awful I asked for another. Not too lovely but at least Dick didn’t see the first as he was parking the car. The fuse was blown + the handy man took forever to repair it. When he finally did we made love + took a nap. Up at 7 + dressed for The Theatre. Picked up our tickets + had a bite at Howard Johnsons. Our seats were second row center!!! The play “The Great White Hope” Was absolutely Marvelous. James Earl Jones was brilliant. Lou Gilbert, Jimmy Pelham + Jane Alexander were all wonderful + nobody was bad. Gil Rogers played the exchamp + was remarkably good. There aren’t enough superlatives to describe it + Dick was completely engrossed. I wanted to stop by + tell James Jones how much I liked his performance but I got cold feet + couldn’t. We called Harold Stern + went up to see him. He has only one bird left. Things haven’t been going well for him but his sense of humor remains intact We left about two. Came back to the hotel. Called Scotty but after 5 rings decided he must be asleep so went to bed.
Dick called George tonight + Irene told him “he’s Drunk!” – Also that they hadn’t worked for 3 days because of weather.
David stopped by to say goodbye –
Sent off a package of stuff to Las Vegas that we won’t be needing plus presents. Daddy joined us for breakfast. Hilary told me yesterday that he was delighted with Dick + I was so happy. Hated to say good bye to Daddy. Dear, dear Daddy. His book incidentally is in its final stages + we saw the end papers + lay out + binding + I think it’s going to be lovely. We drove down the Vermont side. Pouring rain after we left N.H. We got to Simsbury at 1:10 + Cotton looking just darling was ready in minutes. Off to Farmington where Winnie was waiting outside Main. She looks awfully well + I’m delighted She’s so happy there. We went to The Corner House for a heavenly lunch. The girls so cute. They had shrimp cocktails + oysters (4 between them) while we had a couple of bloody Mary’s + then they had steaks + I had fish + I forget Dick’s choice. We gave them each $5 after lunch. Certainly 2 easier to please children would be hard to find. We left Winnie first as she had to be back by 3 + then took Cotton back to Ethel Walkers. The drive down to Riverdale was really hairy because of the rain. We got there about 6 o’clock (Had a couple of drinks + then Russell went out for Chinese food. Anthony wasn’t his usual sunny self + I was sorry as I wanted Dick to meet him at his best. Jessie going through all the agony of being accepted at College. Syracuse has accepted her but now she doesn’t want to go. Co + Russell as always welcoming + easy to be with. We played Poker + Dick + I lost as the evening waxed on. But it was alot gayer than when Colby was losing at the beginning. Late drunk evening.
Wakeup at 7 – Breakfast. Called Co + had pleasant chat. Went to Dr. Richman’s at 9:15. Finished a little after 10. Went to bank of New York + cashed a check. Then down to Hankin’s, Delafield + Wood to execute my will. Sent a birthday card with $5.00 to Jessie. Packed + called Newcomb’s office with flight information. Tried the house but Anne not home. Called Daddy to say goodbye. Called Harold Stern, Dick Rund who wasn’t there + Lester to say goodbye. Bill Wellborne called while I was out + when I called back he was out. The people at the Keller said they thought he was shipping out tonight. Had a very nice lunch with Scotty – sorry I hadn’t seen more of him. He gave me a lovely Sarah Bernhardt mug He helped me down with my bags + got me a cab at 4:00 – off to Laguardia. Alot of people I didn’t see but on the other hand alot I did + all got accomplished in 3 1/2 days. Tried Bill again from the airport but no luck. Picked up a couple of mysteries + read to Tulsa. cocktails + dinner on the flight. Newcomb + Bisy there to meet me. Gave Bisy a beachbag + hat I’d picked up at the airport for her + Susan – Susan away on a class trip through Mark Twain country. Went back to the house Larry + Anne just back from taking Susan to her bus. After the children went to bed Newcomb + Anne + I talked a little over a drink. They’ve decided to try a 3 month separation and so Newcomb will not have to be telling Daddy when he goes back in two weeks. Anne went up + Newcomb + I had another drink + talked a little more. It was his first time in the house for 2 weeks. It all seemed so sad. I talked about therapy. Newcomb hadn’t known I’d been to see someone before back in New York. Went to bed about one. Read a little first.
Left Harold’s about 10:30 – back to the hotel. Called Louis + made appt for tomorrow morning. Called Scotty + made lunch date for tomorrow. Made my reservations for tomorrow at 5:00 to Tulsa + Sunday afternoon Tulsa to L.A. Went to see Dr. Richman at 1:30. Had fairly long session He put in two porcelain fillings. Cut my lip quite badly + he was very upset. I on the other hand didn’t mind at all – sort of one-upman-ship I guess. Very bloody. Back to the hotel. Then over to Chemical N.Y. where I signed some papers. Mike Schwartz joined me + Lester for drinks at the Barclay. They were both very dear and I had a lovely time. Mike kissed my hand when he left and that made my day! Lester had to go to a bank party at 6:30 or so so we said goodbye + I went upstairs + lay down for a nap. Didn’t wake til 10 o’clock. Came downstairs for a late supper + went back up + read + wrote a letter to Bob Iverson. I’d wanted to before but this time I did. Had a beer brought up by room service. Finished Edith Wharton, four novellas “Old New York.” What a lovely writer. Bed about 1:30.
Up fairly early. 9:30 or so. Had breakfast of coffee + juice + bacon + toast. Called Daddy + told him about the address book. Called Mr. Thomas with Mary’s correct address. Called Colby + made a date to see her later tonight after her poetry meeting. Went to the Dentist at 12:00. Asked for a little less gas and spent another painful hour in the chair. He was very sweet when I left + said I was an attractive girl + had a whole life in front of me. Was so rattled I left my raincoat. Met Lester at Pierre’s on 53rd Street. We had 3 drinks and a lovely leisurely lunch. He’s going to send $5,000 to the Bank of New York for the new car. Colby Jr Dentist etc. Kept reminding me I’m “rich.” Hard to get used to the thought but of course I am. We walked back to the bank + hotel. Bill Wellborne called + I met him on Sheridan Sq. at 4:30. He’s sober as a judge + really looks well besides being in very good spirits. He passed his physical today. We had coffee on an outside terrace and then walked around the village. Laughed about Nime Schuman-Heinck, Jane Darwell + Van Heflin. And a children’s book – “Let’s all get together + do something for Margaret” – (Beware)let’s all get together + do something about Margaret” (Beware, Beware but worst of all the day will come” Let’s all get together + do something to Margaret.” If Bill were like that more often he’d be such a joy to have visit. We had a good time + dinner at a place on Waverly place or thereabouts. Went back to the hotel at 7:45. Met Colby at 8:30 at Grin’s coffee shop on 8th ave + 52nd street. Met some of her poetry group. Seemed pleasant enough. Went across to the Howard Johnsons after + had several beers + finally a drink. Read alot of her poetry + was interested. Talked alot about that. Skipped over or around any unpleasantness. Colby down on poor Newcomb but I wasn’t about to play along with anything. Still + all we had a good visit + I was glad I’d seen her. Went up after to see Harold Stern. We had a good time. Talked alot about alot. Harold likes my Christmas jabberwocky “non generation.” – It got very late and after several tall drinks I decided to spend the night there. Hardly room with the records + file cabinets
Up at 5:15 – finished last oddments of packing. Had breakfast and a little after six Daddy + I took off for Manchester. Fairly heavy fog alot of the way down. Hated to leave Daddy but promised (+ meant it) to be back soon. Got in at 8:45 to Laguardia and with rush hour traffic took nearly an hour in the cab to reach the Barclay. Pleasant enough place though no desk. Called Walter Laurence + made an appt. with Mr. Thomas. Discovered I’d left my address book in New Hampshire went to the Chemical N.Y. Trust and picked up the emerald guardring. Went to the Dentist at 11:30. Wasn’t out til after one. Nice to see Dr. Richman despite painful periodental treatment. Gas left me a bit nauseous today. Had lunch at a coffee shop and then went to Walter Laurences’. Gave Mr. Thomas the guard ring to mail to Daddy + the diamond bracelet + stick pin-pin to mail to Daddy. He is going to have a casing made for that old locket I took from Mother’s drawer. Called Harold Stern + Drue. Went to 67 Wall Street to see Louis. Drew up new will without much difficulty. Added $5,000 a piece for Mary Parker, Paul Prokop and Scotty and upped Timmy + Bill to $10,000 each. Am still leaving Peter 10,000 + the 3 girls $5,000 each Also added a bequest to Colby Jr. College for $15,000 in honor of Daddy. Am leaving the emerald ring + bracelet direct to Farmington and my personal property to Newcomb. Rode up on the subway with Louis. Do like him – Went to the Staempfli gallery at 6:30 or so for an opening. Met Tomi Linger (“Horribles”) Had dinner after with John + Mary Jean + Drue + Dick + Johnny at Sun Luck. Next stop the Carlyle + thence John, Johnny + M.J. went home + Drue + Dick + I went back to the Barclay for a nightcap. I’d planned to see Harold Stern but called him + he thought it was too late. He sounded a bit miffed + I was duly apologetic. Had thought he was very flexible but misjudged. Read some Edith Wharton + went to bed by 1:30.
Learned from Drue that Colby had written Peter I was a child who couldn’t grow up – was dependent on the family? Ho Ho –
Up about 9 o’clock, made coffee. Paid phone bill + sent James a $15 check for his birthday. Took a $20 bill down to Mr. Rowe for a cleaning woman + to have the rug laundered. In the morning called Harold Stern. Fred Botterman who told me they’d printed 3,000 copies of “The Lion” – tried to get David Kallman who was out of town + tried to call Peter but he was out. I read chapter III of Daddy’s book. It’s intriguing + I see the comfort in history – the perspective. I went down to Wall Street at 2 o’clock. Signed my will + chatted with Louis. Asked him to autograph my copy of Tales of Manhattan and he did. Didn’t read what he wrote until I had left + was on my way to La Guardia. He said “For Patience Cleveland Hobbs from her good friend and counsel, the author Louis Auchinchloss.” I was deeply touched + wished I’d read it there + thanked him. I called Chuck Neighbors this a.m. + he gave me the name of a film that’s going to be done along with the producer’s name, address + phone number + told me to mention his name. I got to La Guardia at 3:30. Had a bite to eat + then read more of the N.H. Regiments. Co, Cotton + Jess got there at 5 + I treated to dinner in the terrace room. Cotton + I left at 6:30 – pleasant flight. Stopped at the Homestead – no mail except for a note from Mrs. London. Went to Hilary’s. Cotton modeled her new clothes. Peter called + Mary had also told Elizabeth + Henry that Daddy had died which is why they sent another sympathy card. I hadn’t understood it. Newcomb is going up there this weekend quite possible to put Mary in the hospital. Dr. Thomsen thinks she may be on the verge of a depression in which case it wouldn’t be necessary. Oh blah, blah, blah. My own conversation with Peter just ghastly – nothing said. More of the same. How are we ever going to get back together.
Woke about 9:30 – hungover. Came down to a note from Hilary with $20.00 for Cotton’s ticket. Didn’t get much accomplished today. Went over + watered the little pine on Mother’s grave. A daisy + a Devil’s paint brush have sprung up. I took away Mary’s flowers which were dead + dying. I called Druscilla at work to say I’d be in town tonight. I called Peter twice to see if there was anything he wanted done in N.Y. Couldn’t get him. Had lunch. Left for Lebanon about 2:30. Got there at 3:30 + had an hour in the luncheonette to read Daddy’s book + take notes. Same on the plane. Read through Chapter II. Got to N.Y. at 6:20. The apartment at 7 o’clock. Note there from Annie with telephone bill for $81.oo. Her friend Kathe Ellis is coming back on September 17th so no need to turn anything off. Called Drue + called Colby to make arrangements to meet with Cotton + Jessie tomorrow at La Guardia. Went down to 18th St + had several drinks with Drue + Dick. Then took a cab down to the Macao in Chinatown. Had a very good dinner. Bought some toilet paper and a can of beer + went back to the apt. It was about 11:30 when I got in. So tired + so depressed I’ve been finding pictures of Peter + me around the house + we looked so happy. What has gone wrong. I went to bed almost right away. The phone rang a shade after midnight and I lay there + didn’t answer. Felt so depressed that I was afraid I’d just cry if I did. I don’t even really know that it was Peter – I just didn’t want to take the chance.
Up at 8:30 – Packed what little I had. Pottered about. Woke Winnie at ten. Got car from garage we left about eleven. Stopped outside Northampton + had a grinder for lunch. Stopped in Keene + left off a pile of Harold’s stories with Ken Zwicker. We got to New London a little after 5. Went to College Sportshop + bought Daddy a blue wool shirt then to Village Studio where [crossed out word] Winifred got him some black Lindy pens. Got to the house at [crossed out letter] 5:45. Changed. Drove with Daddy to Barn View Lovely Birthday dinner for Daddy. Everyone gave him nice presents – his favorite the book of snapshots that David had made from the Golden Wedding. Mary called not knowing Daddy was there. Evidently extremely far gone. Told Co again that she’s pregnant. Also that she’s going to bring Les Schulty back here to meet Daddy. Oh Lord. Went to the play in two cars. Daddy left after the first act. Excellently done. Pamela Jane Myers was wonderful. Lincoln cute as the proverbial button. I took him + Jess over to Barn View + Winnie + I stayed for a bit in front of the fire. Mary had called again + spoken with Jimmy. Winnie + I home by midnight. A fire still going here so we put on a log + played spite and malice. Bed by one.
Up at 8 – Diary – Called Drue at 9 – She had to work today til noon so I briefed Winnie on how to take a cab. Wrote very explicit directions for her. We decided to hide the key in the 4th loop of the fire hose. Went down to Wall St. to see Louis. Made new will but have to go back next week to execute it. He told me about his new play “The Club Bedroom” – When I left the doorman handed me my gloves downstairs. Seems the cab driver (very nice) had found them + brought them [crossed out word] in. Went up to Chemical N.Y. Called Drue + Winnie had arrived. Talked with Lester about Mather’s investment mgent acct. He’s momentarily hung up in the distribution of Mother’s small trust. We had a delicious lunch at Le Manoir + a very good time. Lester leaves for England on Tuesday. Came back up town. Got off at 87th St to get some paper towels + cleaning things + a cab stopped + a man said “did you get your gloves?” It was my nice driver. Prescott Brown! Got back to the apt. + wrote Don Schwartz took a brief nap. So tired. Drue called + I went to meet her + Winnie + Dick at Schraffts at 6 – this after much missing of connections. We had a drink + drove down to the Owl + the Pussy Cat – Closed. Went to the Blue Sea for dinner. Good but too much. Then to the St. Marks Playhouse for “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.” It was a delight. Winnie got a few autographs after. Eddie met us + we went for 2 beers. Poor Winnie got more 7up. Then to Harold Stern’s. I got several stacks of material from him. He gave Winnie a stack of small demo records to choose from + she got some she wanted with a Monkee’s hat, 2 LPs (The Byrds) + a Moby Grape box + Poster. We left at 2:30. I spoke quite strongly to Winnie when she got back here + she burst into tears + said I shouldn’t talk to her “like that at 3 o’clock” + to my horror it was and I felt just terribly. Added to which she said (when I tried to talk to her about being a little less negative) “I’m only thirteen.” I comforted her + went to bed feeling like a well-meaning bitch.