Hungover. Went to Bonita. Dick + George + Jack there. I took a pot full of coffee but joined them in Cold Duck instead. They sent me out for some more + some sandwiches + as I drew back up I saw Jessie Emmett’s realty office car parked in front. Jack came running out – obviously sent to head me off so I made myself very unobtrusive in the garage. After the prospective buyers left (+ Dick felt they were enthusiastic) we sat around + drank Cold Duck + called it a day. A bad one, too, as they had to cut through the drywall from the dining area to the Master shower to locate new disturbances. Oh dear. We went to the Valley Bar + then took 4 bottles of Cold Duck over to J + J’s – finished it + came home. Didn’t eat. Fixed nightcaps. I banged my nose on the cupboard under the guestroom sink + brought forth an incredible torrent of blood. No stopping it. Scared Dick. Humbug later bit Dick when he tried to put him out. He bit him hard + Dick in turn hit him hard. Luckily I was a little too out of it all to be too involved. On second thought – luckily is the wrong word. If I hadn’t been tight it might not have happened. We talked seriously about adopting a baby. I think we both need the responsibility of someone to care for + think of besides ourselves. We both feel that way and I don’t seem to be getting pregnant so we might as well go ahead before it’s too late.
Dick off at 7 – I lolled around until 8. Ordered books for Dick from National Geographic. Called Leon + told him I wanted to work. He said (?) Virginia Martendale had been asking after me yesterday. Told him to tell her I was available. I watered the lawn + pinched off the old roses. Then went about the back + gathered up all the crap from The Dogs. Gala diversion. I finished first sleeve to Bill’s sweater while beginning Maurice Zolotow’s biography of the Lunts. An unabashed sentimental tribute but interesting. Fixed myself 2 artichokes for lunch. Irene came over after with little Susan who’s been sick. The dogs behaved poorly especially Humbug + I was depressed when they left as I don’t know what to do. Can’t tell if Hummy would be better off without Barkis or what. I wrote Mrs. Sullivan a card + baked an apple pie. Dick home about 4 and was in rather poor humor I thought. I had a nice letter from Susan and Scotty sent us the $500.00 pin he found with a very funny note. I called Tony Melia about my insurance + everything’s going to be all right. Dick took a nap and I went to the post office + mailed Harold’s record [crossed out letter], Ann Merrill’s mysteries + letters. Then to the market for groceries + Dana McKay’s for a copy of Hoyles rules. Started second sleeve and fixed dinner. The man never came about the cooler We went bowling around 8 and bowled 4 lines each. My high was 119 and low was 71! Home + played a little knock rummy and then went to bed about 11. By then we were quite giggly. I realized it’s going to be up to me to keep us from pointless arguments. Dick is as moody if not more so than I am.
Strange morning – Humbug had vomited all over and in cleaning it up I got sick myself + couldn’t stop throwing up. Read a mystery set in Israel + tried to pull myself together + accomplish something but really felt nauseated. When George stopped by this morning gave him the presents we got for him + Irene. Dick home around two. We went over to Jack + Joyce’s after shopping to get some vodka + grapefruit juice. Drank there all afternoon + had a funny drunk time. Then went to the El Rio club – an all negro casino on the West side. Dick thought he had some friends there but nobody he knew was in the place. We couldn’t just leave so played for a while. Dick lost all his money + then came back even ($200.00) and stuffed it all in his shoe. I couldn’t lose at the 21 table + began to feel uncomfortable + tried like hell to lose. Gave away money on all sides. We finally left. (I later found out Dick had given someone a $20.00 bill for “no trouble”) I was about $20 ahead. We were going to the mint but thank God couldn’t get in the parking lot so came home. That much I remember. After that – nothing. Evidently we had a fight.
Well today was a constructive day – I caught up diary. Went over household accounts where my arithmetic was bizarre + paid some bills. Sent change of address to Equity, Aftra + SAG. Sent $1,000 to Hunter college for the Dorothy Davis Edmonds scholarship + wrote Scotty I’d done so. Sent money to Int. Rescue committee + wrote American Express trying again to straighten out that mess. Sent Peter the Am. Express letter to him that had been forwarded to me. I tried to call Mary Haas but didn’t get her. Made a pumpkin pie and did about 4 loads of washing. Ironed handkerchiefs, watered the lawn + made bed etc. Feel a dent has been made. Dick home at 4:30 + then had to go out to look at a job. I went shopping for dinner. Jimmy Judge coming with a “deal.” Had a note today from Alvin Sapinsly which I thought was awfully nice of him. Jimmy Judge over for dinner a little after 6. We had steak, potatos, string beans + pie. His deal has to do with car repossession mostly. On the up + up + NO sneaky tactics. We ended up giving him $500 each. (Dick gave him a check for $1000) Made him swear never to tell anyone where he got the money + told him we don’t in anyway want to be partners. It’s a straight loan. But he’s going to give us a share of the profits – he insists. Well, we’ll see. We listened to Flip Wilson afterwards + then Jimmy left. We had another drink, played a little casino + went to bed. Humbug giving Barkis a really bad time tonight. Dick thinks there’s a bitch in heat somewhere in the neighborhood. Our package we sent from New London came today.
General Eisenhower died today at 78 –
Up early. Dick off to patch the cooldecking for Anderson. I did several loads of laundry, ironed Dick’s handkerchiefs, cleaned his windshield with scouring pad + watered the garden. It’s going to need alot of work + I don’t know how, (Oh Mother) Finished long overdue letter to June. Dick home at noon. Dr’s appt. at 1:30. He bathed + left about 1:10. I read + finished “She” by Rider Haggard. Dick when he left said, ‘Say a prayer that nothing’s wrong with me” + I did. From the bottom of my soul I did. Went to the bank + then to wonderworld where I bought an electric sweeper, a rake + garden shears + a couple of records. Dick back when I got home + I thought from his expression something had gone very wrong at the Doctor’s. He told me everything was fine there. Then what happened? Then I saw the stuffed lion he’d given me + it was torn [crossed out letters] badly with the stuffing coming out. “That dog is really getting under my skin, I’ve had it. It’s like living in a kennel.” I said that I’d get rid of him + Dick went storming out to the cleaners. I was very upset + the more I thought about it the more unfair it seemed. First I thought something really was wrong with his physical but that wasn’t the case. When Dick returned I was trying to put the god damned sweeper together. It didn’t work + we took it back. I didn’t want Dick to come with me as I felt like thinking but he did. They gave us a refund. Home both dogs cowering around. If I get rid of Barkis, Humbug will be alone. Besides there was the grand statement in the beginning, “I don’t want you to change anything about the way you live” – well Bull Shit. I’ve changed everything. NOT that I didn’t look ahead + see there would be obviously some changes + all major. The biggest change of all is not having one damn soul in the world that I can talk to besides Dick + any time there’s any emotion involved he says, Let’s just forget it. I don’t want to talk about it. At moments I feel like I’m in some sort of isolation booth. Dick fixed spareribs for dinner. We played some cards while they cooked and then he went out + I went to bed. Had taken a miltown earlier but didn’t seem to help.
Didn’t get much sleep as the dogs were sick. Mostly Hummy. Rose to little puddles of vomit at 6:30 – Dick off about 7. I knitted and read – finished the front of Bill’s sweater. Called Joyce + asked if we could have stuffed peppers. She’d already planned on them. My right thigh terribly sore. Must be combination of bowling + sleeping in. Was tired and a little depressed today. In the late afternoon I finally got to work on my taxes. Have 2 or 3 days more to go I think. Dick in a bad mood. Partly because of a subpoena next week to testify on some pool repair job in ’67. And partly because I disagreed with him on his treatment of Barkis. It seems to me that most of the adjustments have to be on my side. We went to Jack + Joyce’s at about 6 o’clock. Took can of pennies. We had a very nice time for the most part and I was the big winner. I brought up the matter of the dogs in front of Jack + Joyce. Mistake number 2. Dick said [crossed out letter] he’d leave it all to me in the car that he didn’t want anything to do with them. Then at home there was the discussion about his shirts + how he was running out of clean ones. I asked him why he hadn’t mentioned it + he said I should have noticed. Oh Shit. I told him to mention anything he wanted attended to. And that I guess was another mistake. I don’t know.
Accomplished little today. Humbug seems a bit better. I called Sue in the morning and we had a good talk. She’s going to come visit us for a week on April 1st, Allen’s coming out to L.A. for a [crossed out word] convention on the 8th + she’ll go back to Michigan with him on the 9th. Susie said in talking of Mary “She’s losing her kids” and boy I guess she is. It’s sad but the way she’s going at it inevitable. I wrote Sue a note enclosing $75.00. 35 for the plane fare and $40 for some fun before she leaves L.A. – It hasn’t been too gay a return for her either. I spent the morning knitting and reading. Two of the Detective Book Club volumes arrived from Sue – oh glorious day. Dick was back around 2:30 or so and I fixed him a steak sandwich. We lay around + read + napped then decided to go bowling. We bowled two strings and I was so sore + exhausted I could barely lift the ball. It will take some breaking in. We had a nice sort of dinner in the restaurant and had a bottle of wine + then went over to the Safeway. I played 3 quarters in the slot machine and won a $5.00 jackpot. Gave Dick the money for the wine + won another. Gave him half + he won $10 so the evening was on Safeway Stores. Home, played cards + went to bed about 11. Tired –
Dick off about 7:30. Barkis had crapped on the carpet. Humbug is really painfully thin + very shaky. I called George Barnes to let him know they’d sent me alot of other people’s certificates of [crossed out letters] rabies vaccination along with mine. He suggested I call “Pet Town” here for the name of a good vet. Dick came dashing in around noon for some forms + dashed out again. I wrote Timmy a letter and paid several bills. Took Dick’s car and got gas, went to the bank, bought some bourbon, took clothes to the cleaner and shopped for dinner. Then went to the Frontier nursery and ordered some flowers to go to Mary Jean + Drue tomorrow for their birthday. Came home and prepared the steaks + brussel sprouts + mushrooms. Dick home around four. He’d just taken a shower + run my bath when Jimmy Judge appeared at the front door. Six o’clock. Joyce + Jack called + asked us to dinner Friday + poker. Then Mary + Les called. And alot later after alot to drink Sue called. We agreed to talk in the morning. Jimmy is alot of fun but my God some of his stories are pretty appalling – the rackets, the syndicate, “factors” etc. I’m afraid it’s a little hard to stomach. He spent the night as we’d all had too much to drink. Doug Menville + Rae O’dell sent me a first edition of “He done her wrong” by Milt Gross – a very funny novel without any words. Inscribed “The nizest Beby we know.”
Slept late today – 11:30. Was hungover and the dishes were an appalling sight. Paid phone bill in L.A. and called the Pet Hotel. Spoke with George who gave me the flight number + said he’d gotten Hummy’s rabies booster. Made bed + ran bath. Dick home – about 1:30 or so. Brought chicken livers which he fixed. After a bath they tasted surprisingly good. He got a letter about a 2nd mortgage he’s holding + has decided to foreclose. We played cards some + had a “pink pussycat’ – and then went to bed for a lovely + needed nap. Mary called at 6:15. Woke Dick [crossed out letters] who hung up on her after a few minutes. Phone rang again almost instantly and it was long distance person to person for me. Said I’d take it + there was Susan on the line. She’d just come in + Mary had handed her the phone. We had a rather strained conversation because I didn’t know if Mary was listening or not. Margie was sent home Sue is now living in Merle’s appt. and she said she’d call me tonight at 11 o’clock. Spoke with Mary who’d “gouged” her palm + “almost severed an artery” Sunday. Went to Lou Scaduto her “former Doctor” so there goes Lou. Les had spoken to Jimmy + Daddy on Sunday??? Mentioned someone named Jeff + when I asked who Jeff was she started coughing + left the phone. Spoke to Sue again + Mary came back to say she’d thrown up. Grand. I told Mary we had to go pick up the dogs + she said to “give them both a kiss + especially Dick.” End of call. Dick went out for the paper and I thought he might be angry but it turned out he wasn’t. Was just upset that he’d been so short with Mary + had gotten a bad headache. He’d told me to call her back + say he was drunk only I hadn’t heard him. Not that I’d ever have done it. Frank Carul called while Dick was out. We went to the Jungle Club for dinner + then to the airport. The dogs didn’t seem to emotionally disturbed by their ride. Hummy very thin. I’m almost sure he has worms. Dick is very good with them. We took them out in the yard + they snuffed their way about. Humbug stepped on something + hurt his paw. Dick + I played cards + waited for Susan’s call which didn’t come + we talked alot – about our life + life in general. Bed about midnight.
Busy Day – Up at 8:30 – Bank at 10:00 – arranged for telegraph transfer of money to Vegas. Went to Motor Vehicle dept. on Cole St. Got license [crossed out letters] name + address changed + paid for 1969 registration – $43!! which seemed excessive. Went to Burlington Avenue + picked up turtle, [crossed out words] Bill Downey’s “L.A.”, my tiffany lamp and old vase. Went down into cellar + rescued “Tallahassee”. The Rubys have the most incredible amount of stuff. Never realized those rooms could seem tiny! But in the clutter they assuredly do. My clutter seems like nothing now. Brief glimpse of Jim Parker. Went to Miller’s stationary + bought some note paper and this diary – Came home + caught it up. Harry finished the upstairs shelves today. Starts in the living room tomorrow. I tried to clean the tree stains on rug + Leon’s leather chair without much success on either alas. Paid a few bills + sent in Players’ Guide entry. Spoke with Leon + it looks all right for tomorrow. Dick called at 4:15 + money hadn’t arrived. Called bank + it had gone out. Called him back. He checked with his bank who’d made a mistake. It had been sitting there since one o’clock. Mary called + sounded distracted + tight + reminiscent of old unhappier days. Wanted to meet me at Timmy’s for the turtle. Les couldn’t have the privilege of marrying her. Blah Blah Blah. She called back later. Margie had called Les up + told him to come back “Mom needs you.” So the three of them will be there. Also what’s really disturbing – she’d called Newcomb + Daddy. Oh Hell – Poor Newcomb must think California is sliding into the ocean! Spoke with Iverson + cancelled Friday. Spoke with Mona who’s going to stay here over the weekend. Went to Timmy’s with Humbug + Barkis. Stopped for Brandy + a bottle of bourbon for him. We had pleasant evening. Watched “Bunny Lake is Missing.” Home by 11:30 – Called Leon. Still not definite about tomorrow night. It’s 12 now – I’ve put in a wakeup call for 8:00 + am off to bed.
Up + downstairs by 7 am. Humbug hacking away. Paid bills – Bonestells, Westwood VW, + Hayes. Returned contracts 20th. Wrote S.A.G. about change of address called aftra, Equity, Variety, Automobile Club + John L. Roberts about new lens. Spoke with Leon, Timmy + Pet Academy who said they’d feed Humbug his cough medicine. Gathered more Eucalyptus pods + branches. Took long nap around one o’clock. Took Hummy at four to Pet Academy. His delight at seeing Dick Showalter – great testimonial. Dick gave me a Hypo to feed the charcoal. Bought pan for tree + more gold spray. Home + sprayed new string + branches. Called Dick who may not come til Saturday. Pray for good pool weather. Leon called. They want me back for Anderson + Co. new scenes written in. Good news. Tried to give Hummy charcoal. complete frustration + frazzled nerves. Took both dogs to Timmy’s. Pleasant evening. Although another showdown with Humbug but got a full teaspoon down between us. Home at 11:30. Put out garbage + so to bed.
Henry said I’d had nightmares but don’t remember them. He suggested I ask Doug for some penecillan in case the guy had a disease. I’d taken the pill Sunday morning so at least I didn’t have to worry about pregnancy. Every muscle in my body ached. On the way back to town Henry kept after me about moving until I burst into tears. I said I was going to move + I didn’t want to hear anymore about it. A police officer Ingraham called up + was going to come over with some pictures but didn’t. Henry cleaned up alot of the blood in the bedroom. I called Lee Garmes to tell him as I thought he mightn’t want his friend to stay here. Told him I wasn’t going to be staying here anymore. Mary called + I told her. Made arrangement to stay out there tomorrow night. I sent a wire to Dick in Las Vegas asking him to call. Tried to take a nap + couldn’t. Henry here all afternoon. Erds called + asked us over for a drink. Henry thought I should go. Called Paul to meet us there + we went over. Watched Henry on a “Mod Squad.” Paul took me back to his apartment along with Humbug + Barkis. Had some soup + chopped hamburger. And beer. Went to bed quite early. Got penicillin Rx from Doug. The anonase seemed to be working a little.
From now on to the 28th of October is all just from notes – Called Mather on his birthday. Mary + I had dinner with Rick Ware + called Daddy. Came home here + had some beer. Mary left after midnight. I went to bed.
Was awakened by something around [crossed out letters] 5:30. Don’t know what – Dogs or The intruder. At any rate first memory was of fighting fiercly by the bedroom window. Was badly beaten by a negro man + raped. Couldn’t see him. Dark. No glasses. blood all over the place. Stopped fighting when he stuck a knife in my stomach. Barkis hid. Humbug snapping. The man said he’d kill him so I put him in other room. When The man left he took $10 + left 7 in my wallet. Said he was sorry he’d beaten me up but “you gave me trouble” Crazy.
My face an absolute nightmare. All over by 6:15 or so. Called Henry Jones as he was the only person I knew would be up. I left a message for Doug. Henry told me to call the police. My feeling was what’s the use. All so incredible. But I did. An officer DeLong appeared. Took down my story in the kitchen. After about 5 minutes of questioning he said “Did the -er-swelling on the left side of your face occur this morning?”
Slept later than I meant to – Got the 6:30 wakeup call + relayed it upstairs. Heard Mary come back from taking Paul to the airport about 10 o’clock. Picked up Annie around 11:30 or so + we drove out to Pelham to say good bye to James. Had lunch with Mary + him at the pickle barrel + then drove on out along the Coast Highway. Humbug with us. We went to the small unorganized beach just by the bridge before the Malibu Colony turn off. Glorious day after unpromising start. Many dogs there + Humbug seemed to enjoy himself although he’s very timid except when he’s defending something. He peed on somebody’s beach bag but the owner was not in sight. He also peed in the upstairs hall of the Halifax Hotel. Hard to make the distinction between inside and out. We drove on up the Coast to the Traneas restaurant, had an ice cream at a cruddy little snack shack + came back via Malibu Canyon. Called Leon from the strip but he was expecting people so we didn’t go by. Got some flowers for Signe who’s having an operation and Annie took them in to her at Mt. Sinai Hospital. Picked up some cheese + fresca at the Shermart + went to Timmy’s. Some TV. Annie very sleepy. Delicious dinner. We left about 11 o’clock. Took Annie home + came back here about midnight. Had a beer with Mary Parker. She must be a little lonely. My horoscope for the month says I can begin a whole new life. Well – Good oh.
Overslept – Millie called at 9:30 + woke me. She came over by bus. I didn’t tutor today. Washed underwear puttered about while Millie cleaned. Went shopping + went to the bank to cash a check. Bought Tommyburgers for lunch. New collar for Humbug. He’s been very subdued lately – no appetite. Went over to pick up Estelle about 3 o’clock. Took her to Saks Fifth Avenue where she bought 2 dresses with matching coats, a coat , a suit and 3 or 4 dresses. We had a very good time although it was a little exhausting. Didn’t finish til the store was closing at 5:30 and didn’t get out til it had closed at almost 6:00. Heavy traffic back to her house Estelle pretty tired as was I. Had 2 strong cups of tea came home. Took a short nap. Then Mary, Paul + I went over to Diamond Jim’s for a farwell dinner for Paul. We were all to tired to really enjoy it and left at 10:30 feeling stuffed. Read a Detective story + then Paul brought down a glass of stout which seemed singularly appropriate. Bed about 1:00 –
Kennedy’s body lay in St. Patrick’s in New York today and thousands + thousands of people filed by to see the casket. Everybody stunned still + unable to grasp the horror.