Not an excitingly productive day but slogged away in the library cleaning things up + at least made a dent. Have moved alot of books to the bedroom – textbooks, inspirational + books I want to read + some I think Dick might like. There’s the most terrific amount to do in that room. I wrote Marg Haas + Timmy + paid Frontier Roseland, American Express and a 44¢ late charge for the taxes on Bonita. Dick in + out today. Evidently Shirley had told John Painter to work hard + learn what he could as we might get rid of John Fratilla. Whereupon John Painter told John Fratilla that he was going to be fired. Ho Ho Ho. Top marks all the way around for discretion. Weirdly enough however neither John said anything to Dick at all + neither asked for money. I cleaned out living room book shelf + sent a pile of Fulton Sheehan books to Shirley. Went shopping at 4:20 – back a little after 5. Dick home. We watched TV. Casey called + John Fratilla called twice – Tina Anika called later with her incredible sounding assignment on “Victorian Drama.” Said I’d try to help – We all ate in the livingroom + watched TV. Later in the bedroom Dick + I watched “Dr. Cooke’s Garden” – Thriller with Bing Crosby (Last night it was “Dr. Blood’s Coffin”) Nothing to drink again today – Whee!
124 lbs –
Meeting 1 hr.
Commissioner’s 1 hr.
Good, good day – up early. Dick off about 7:30. I caught up 5 days of diary. Then off to Gloria Marshall’s. Good to see Judy again who’s looking great. And actually good to start working on myself again. I weighed in at 124 lbs – (7 lbs more than when I left) Could only take 12 1/2 minutes on the bicycle before I dropped. Went to bank, cashed check, went to P.O. only to discover my pkge for Carl + Sue was coming unstuck. Went to cleaners + laundry – asked about missing sweater. Went shopping + bought a roast + fresh asparagras + fruit. Home did laundry – made bed did dishes – steamed blanket etc. Left at 12:25 for Alice Turner’s. Lucille Brown there to sit with Clesse. LaVerne Brown left little girl Bryce there too. Cathleen Cochran came as a guest. All went in LaVerne’s car. Jim Carmany gave a plea for moral + any other sort of support at the budget hearing this afternoon before the county commissioner’s. Lot of talk then about luncheon on the 22nd and I volunteered 4 apple crumb pies. Also a pair of hand knitted men’s socks for raffle. Lucy Foley showed our C.H. Blanket. Such as it is. Took 10 tickets for luncheon to sell. Stopped at C.H. and picked up one sq. Took Alice + Cathleen by Allstar shop and then we went down to County Commissioner’s hearing at City Hall. Postponed til the 10th after a talk by Judge Mendoza + Jim Carmany. Back to Alice’s for car. Picked up yarn for dice socks at Kustom Knits then to All Star. Dick driving a fancy little AMX while the truck’s being fixed. Went to P.O. Mailed books + bought stamps. Home – put away laundry, fixed dinner, crocheted around sq. + started the dice sox. Such fine knitting after C.H. it’s blinding. Read to Dick from his handbook after TV movie over. He takes exam tomorrow.
Didn’t call Julia. called Izzy who was waiting to hear from Sanford. She said she’d call + let me know as soon as she did. Went to Gloria Marshall’s at ten today as Dick didn’t have to go to work early. Only a diving board standard to set up. I went on a new regime today – 20 minutes on the bike which are pretty excruciating. Have decided to follow the diet to the letter with maybe a glass of White wine from time to time to add spice. Dick home by the time I got back. Jerry Douzat came to scalp the lawn prior to putting in a winter lawn. He came in for a while after + had a beer. He’s an odd guy and a far cry from Ole Larsen. The mail brought a really beautiful book from Leon. A collection of prints edited by Steven Longstreet and with a really nice inscription to me [crossed out letter] in the front. Leon had put sheets of blue chip stamps every 3 or 4 pages! He really is too much.
Bed earlyish after nice steak dinner
Hard to get up. Harder still I guess for Dick who wouldn’t go to sleep last night. After he left I went back to bed for an hour + then off to Gloria Marshall’s. Weighed a shade under 120. Their babysitter has left + I thought maybe Wendy might like the job. Don’t know what they pay but will find out. Chatted a bit with the Housework Ruth (there are 2 Ruths + I don’t know her last name.) I get measured tomorrow + feel [crossed out letters] trimmer. Will be interesting. Played a slot machine for a bit + then came home. Washed dishes, emptied garbage. Paid Phone Service. Called Phone Co. about a second bill. Did laundry. Called Wendy + muddled about. Joyce called after her 1:30 appt + she really liked him. Spoke with him for 2 hours + evidently there’s nothing wrong with her. Although he’s going to run a thyroid check. He said she’s gotten in a rut and is bored. She’s in complete agreement which is fascinating to me as I would never have thought that. He must be quite a guy. She + Jack came over a little after six for a drink + Jack put in the disposal. Dick fixed another leak today in the sprinkler system. We ate about 9 + then to bed where we watched a little TV Dick had had 2 bottles of “cold Duck” + one of burgundy + I had a little difficulty persuading him to go to bed but he finally did. Final income tax notice (“Before Seisure”) arrived today + Dick Thank God paid it off. We were both sound asleep when the phone rang + it was Carolyn Brown to say they hadn’t been able to get the oven fixed. I tossed + turned after that for at least an hour.
Hard to get up for both of us + after poor Dick took off I went back to bed briefly. Got to Gloria Marshall’s at 9. Was weighed today + was still 122 1/2 (or 1 lb over what I was when I weighed in!) Still I guess it could have been worse considering. Pat Robeson in about 9:20. She was measured + has lost 7 1/2 inches. Wow. I went over to the B’way + picked up my watch + also bought “Naked Came the Stranger” by Penelope Ashe (the hoax author by 14 journalists) and Lillian Helman’s memoirs. Went back to the Salon for Pat + we went + had some coffee together + talked. She’s a nice girl and it’s pleasant to meet somebody new. Really didn’t feel too glorious today – Came home + lay around. Read Naked Came the Stranger which is so awful it’s funny. Dick feeling pretty awful. We napped + suddenly the dogs were barking + there were Jerry (from Frank’s) + his wife Carmina. For a ghastly minute I was afraid we’d invited him to dinner but we hadn’t – they just dropped by to say Hello + see the house. Dick rushed out + bought another bottle of bourbon + they stayed til almost 9. I put our TV dinners in towards the end + as soon as they left we ate. Only trouble was we’d planned to be in bed by 9. Still we were both glad they’d come. We’re invited to dinner there Monday night. We watched the Bob Hope Special which I enjoyed + then the Flip Wilson special which was extremely funny – especially a sketch on the plane with him + Jonathan Winters both playing women. However I couldn’t last the full hour + fell asleep before it was over. I called Bill around noon + we had a long sad + funny talk together. I wish I could do something that would really help.
Dick off at 6:20 or so. I did a few windows inside wrote diary, made lists, made bed etc. Left at 8:30 + was way early. I guess it takes about 10 minutes maximum. Was measured + weighed (121 1/2 lbs) + told how lucky I was to be flabby, blah blah blah – Alot of very visual images – the fat from my fallen buttocks has “dripped” into my upper thighs etc. Tried the various machines – actually they’re alot more active than Slenderette or Pat Walker. Signed up after the introductory course + will try to go as often as possible – 3 or 4 times a week. As soon as there are a few results I’ll tell Dick. I went to Penny’s + bought a small utility ladder + then to Wonder World for a garbage can. Also saw the exact replica of my lost chest there. Dick had put some quarters in my bag last night and I played 2 $5 rolls in a couple of machines + kept winning. I left with $40.00 profit after paying for all purchases. Bought some grapefruit at Pantry pride. Home. Got rent check from Carolyn Brown. A morose letter from Timmy and a couple of bills went over accts – we’re in pretty good shape – read a little, did more windows – only the library + guest room + bath left to go. Did our car windows. Dick home at 3 or so. Had wrenched his back. I fixed stuffed peppers for dinner – we ate earlyish + were in bed by nine where we watched a little more TV. J + J called + Jack told Dick that Joyce has cirrhosis of the liver. I talked with Joyce + said I’d come by tomorrow about noon. No more booze, no salt, no nothing. It’s extremely depressing to think about because she’s had every warning in the world for a long time. She’s got an appt with a specialist on Friday.
Up early – diary – Wrote Timmy with Author’s aid. Sent a birthday card to June Meheula and wrote Jim Parker. Called Liza who later called me at 3 o’clock + was only getting started so won’t see her until tomorrow. Bills Mss. arrived $11.50 collect. Bill for over $200 which was expected. Paid it. Did laundry and finally got that dryer emptied. Alot of cleaning to do but I didn’t do it. Dick home at 2:45. Had steak sandwich, ovaltine + cheesecake, + then went off to see Dr. Bentley. Was back fairly shortly with the news that his heart, blood pressure + lungs are all allright but that he’s 13 lbs overweight! Ho Ho Ho. I personally think 15 or 16 is closer to it. I like the sound of Bentley. He gave Dick an Rx for miltowns. We went to Vegas Village to get Doug’s Diet copied + pick up the prints which still weren’t ready. We ran into Irene so were able to give her her copy of the diet right there. George Jr. has been awarded a bronze star + will be home soon. Good news. We bought a few diety type things + came home. Watched a little TV, had a few drinks, – (diet mix!) and after hardboiled eggs, went to bed. Dick really very relieved by trip to Bentley.
Up at 6:00 just to say goodbye. Dick home for a stolen moment at 8:30. Off again at 9 I slept after fiishing “Midnight Cowboy.” Woke at 11-called Irene to say I’d be late. Made bed etc. bathed went to the bank + over to Irenes. Pleasant visit. Left at 2:30. Went shopping at Safeway + over to Vegas Village for prints. Not ready yet. Put down deposit at Westward Ho for Liza + John. Called Ethel’s knitting bar but the sweater not ready yet. She’ll have it tomorrow. Dick home + we went out + looked at a few houses. Depressing as hell. And my mood contagious. Nice letter from Daddy + also from Bess. WE took a npa. Leon called + told me to call him back. Secrets-called + a friend of his has made a fur cape for me which Leon is going to send. All a bit confusing but quite exciting. I fixed dinner except that it took forever + we didn’t eat til ten o’clock-outside on the patio. However we talked alot in the waiting period over drinks + we’ve decided to buy land in Paradise Valley + build ourselves. A relief to make the decision. We went to bed about eleven. Also talked about weight + I told Dick to ask Bentley. He weight 169 or 15lbs over average and 29lbs over “ideal”-for his weight. He had great resistance at first to the idea but then admitted in 1957 he weight 150lbs + could do anything + everything he doesn’t now + more.
Slept late today. Angus off to Palm Springs for the day. Talked with Rita and told her about yesterday night_ She came downstairs and we tried on clothes I agree that my skirts should all be shorter – also I need some new bras. We had a very funny time. Mary Parker came down and she and I did exercises for fanny + stomach respectively. I’ve been doing mine faithfully now for over a week and think it’s beginning to show. Rita supervised. I called Mary and I told her I’d felt the same way she did about the other night – then I called Elizabeth + said I’d come see her some time soon. Don Schwartz called with a commercial call for me from Milt Hammerman – very nice of him as he has nothing to gain. I staged a dance concert for Rita with wigs + hats + scarves and props. Silly but fun and she laughed alot. Mary + Paul went to Lagners and brought back roast beef, turkey, pickles, slaw, beer, bread + pastrami – as well as cheesecake + strudel. Angus back and we five had a glorious picknicky dinner in the livingroom before embarking on another round of our Game. That’s given us all so much pleasure. I repaired to bed at 11 o’clock – Wake up calls for 5:15 and 5:30.
Mary + Paul + Angus all went to the revival meeting last night next door – Ray + Ruby Boatwright – hideously ghastly but weirdly funny tale of the “cures”- “The Lord tells me seven people are going to be cured – not six – not 8 but seven. Seven people” etc. etc. and then eight came forward.
I read more of “Seasons of Life” today. I feel so strongly empathetic to Tourniers writing – even where my inhibited soul balks. Oddly – even in the week or so I’ve been reading him though – the balking is less pronounced.
Up early – pottered about and very nearly forgot to go to unemployment. Made it just in time. Went to Contour – steam + massage. Wrapped presents + made packages – mailed boxes to Hil + Daddy + Mather. Went shopping at Akron and and found a wonderful game – electric back lit peg board with little plastic colored pegs to draw with Also go all sorts of odds + ends. Wrapped presents for Newcomb + Anne + the Keenans + Carl + Sue. Peter later helped me wrap them for mailing. I invited Paul + Mary for dinner. Paul depressed. He’d hired a nude model for the day and she’d gotten depressed which depressed him. All a little sad Garbage night. Went upstairs after Peter went to bed pretty early.
I got up about 6:30 – Peter woke me when [crossed out letter] he left. Wrote diary. Went to unemployment. Saw Harlan Wade who was as always, pleasant. Picked up Bess + took her to work – She’d been itchy + thought I’d forgotten. Had steam + massage + came home. Called George Spicer + made a hair appt for 2:30 – manicure at 2:00. Took a nap + slept like the dead. Drove out to Beverly Hills – George gave me a good cut. Evelyn gave me the cuticle lecture again. On my way home stopped at the Snob + bought 2 pairs of slacks, 3 marvelous tops + a black dickey. Stopped at the Thrifty + bought ice cream, shampoo + hair spray. Came back on Olympic + shopped at the Crenshaw Vons. Got a Ham slice, Spinach + corn for dinner. Home + called Mary Thomsen, told her to have Newcomb write Allen + I think she’s right (he’s right.) Liza called + wanted to know if Peter + I would like to share a cabin at a mountain place called Idlewild with her + John over New Years. It sounded heavenly but in our situation I couldn’t say anything one way or the other. I fixed dinner + put on one of my new outfits – got grudging “pretty” when I told Peter it was new. Why bother I wonder but I suppose it made me all by myself feel a little better. At dinner I showed him Mary’s note about Thanksgiving + told him I was going + would like him to also – he won’t go to George + Judy Spicer’s for dinner + he’s backed out of everything else as its come [crossed out word] up. I guess he will go – big deal. He’s got a reading tomorrow for a film – the part of a frenchman – Jerry Paris directing – After cleaning up I took two aspirin + went to bed + read. Then couldn’t sleep. The aspirin stuck in my throat – finally about 1:30. – Even as I start trying to assimilate Bob’s idea I realize how much harm has already been done. I am in a very bad way emotionally + mentally.
Complete slump of a day. Bad dreams. Woke when Peter did + set up breakfast but went back to bed. Went to Contour at 10 o’clock. Home + read + slept. Tried to work in office – just not able. The heat unbearable – my state of mind more so. Mary called with Edith Warner’s address – flowers instead of flowers send to Gateways Hospital I looked back in my diary to see when Peter + I had met the Warners and I was appalled at the record of our fights. I must copy alot of it down I guess for Bob Iverson. Spoke with Betty Lamm. Called Doug about my flea bite itch + he said I could use taccheril (sp.) Hadn’t thought I’d make dinner – the thought was so oppressive but at the last minute made a tuna casserole. Peter working on Big Valley Monday – the Good Morning World has been postponed til [crossed out word] a week from next Tuesday Jim came in briefly. I went to bed early.
Up at 7 o’clock. Wrote diary pottered – went off to unemployment about 8:45. Got there at 9:10 + was out with $65.00 in crisp bills in about 15 minutes. Went to the Post office + bought some stamps + came home. Brief talk with Peter before he left – told him I desperately needed someone to talk to as we don’t talk anymore. (This re my visit to Dr. Brooks). I typed up my notes on June Lockhart – called Betty Lamm for a few notes on the Miss USA contest. Went to Pat Walkers at 12 – read some of a rather dumb detective story there. Thence to Contour for steam + massage. Gave Miss Grey a ride home + went out to Beverly Hills to see Dr. Brooks. He is a nice man and it did me a lot of good just to get a lot of all this off my chest. He asked me what happened last August and I couldn’t really answer. I told him I felt that the real depression on Peters part began after he came back from New York last fall – He told me to hide Peter’s gun which was a little scary and he also told me not to withdraw – that Peter’s depression was not my fault and that it was normal at his age. That I shouldn’t feel rejected + should react spontaneously to Peter’s moods. If I felt angry to get angry etc. etc. Also suggested I dress up a little + wear makeup around the house. I came home via the Safeway + bought a melon + a few other things. Fixed ham slices Cafe Martin” for dinner – with spinach + salad. I felt better. And I think maybe I’ll be more of a help to Peter now – we had no mail today except a come-on for some camera company + the Lauria’s bill. I went to bed about 10:30 – read til 12.
Up fairly early. Grey day. Went to Pat Walkers at 12 o’clock and then went to look at a house on Westmoreland that Emmeline Sniveley had told us about. We’d called the owner, – a Mrs. Davis, this morning. She said the place needed a lot of repairs but I must say I liked it. A nice lawn and a fairly good sized back yard and a lot of room in the house including two wonderful study-type rooms. The asking price is $30,000 and even at that it’s a bargain I think but Peter isn’t too interested. He didn’t go through it – just passed by it. Went to Contour for steam + massage – Mrs. Gray gave me a big bottle of seabreeze. Came home + read a detective story. We went to Timmy’s at 6 o’clock – got there at 6:30 – had a drink + went to the Warner Theatre to sea Dick Erdman’s presentation of Harvey Lembeck’s comedy group. Attractive cast with one exception. Jerry Devine in it + excellent. Some very funny material but insufficiently worked out I thought. Saw Bert Metcalf from afar and Barbara Deutch who looks wonderful. Went back to tell Jerry how much we liked him. Then back to Timmy’s for a good dinner. Watched an alarming special on the Middle East Crisis. It looks like certain war to me.
Timmy has an exciting opportunity with Man Made Angry – all fingers cross.
Was up early. Called Timmy who’d just had another attack and called Doug’s nurse who gave him an appt. at 11:45 this A.M. Thought Timmy might balk but he was so willing I began to be worried about him I went to Pat Walker’s at 12 – started reading “The [crossed out word] King Must Die.” Then to the Safeway, bought groceries + cashed a check for $30.00. Went to Contour for my steam + massage. All this may be costing a bit but I’m getting quite toned up and it’s worth it. Came home and fixed a Shepard’s pie (invited Mary + Paul for dinner) and prepared that cold bean marinade that Peter liked so much last night. Bought some stamps too. At 5 drove over to Contour + took Miss Grey home – she’s a dear woman. Wrote Alita a thank you note for the towels she sent us. Had a letter from Newcomb with his feelings about the money for James. I agree of course in large part. When Peter got home we called Carl + Sue to tell them we were coming this weekend, then made reservations for Fri. + Sat. at the Chrystal Pier. Called Mary to confirm our weekend plans + we made a date to see “Man for all seasons” on Wednesday. Reminded her it was Elizabeth’s birthday + She called her. I tried in the morning + Elizabeth was out then when I tried this eve the line was busy, then I forgot while we all had dinner after drinks on the front porch + when I thought again it was too late. Pleasant evening. Peter to bed before me but I was in bed by one or so.