Oh Lord. What a day. Call from Clark Isom jr. Barkis and one black dog had beaten up Scoshe – Dick had to take Scoshe to the Vets and it was decided I should take Barkis to be put away He’s been getting worse and I guess I know it. Took him down to the Animal Shelter + felt just terrible. He wasn’t all bad and probably if he’d been an only dog + had had more love he would -have been all right. Drove to the office and cried on Dick’s shoulder then went to work and typed 3 copies of the Prologue + 3 copies of an outline. Wrote a covering letter to Helga. Also made several Xerox copies plus letter and 1 copy to be registered with the Screen Writer’s guild. Bill Rehn came in (hadn’t gotten my letter (?)) told Dick they should have the money by the 20th of January. (The loan is due Feb 14th) I left – stopped briefly by Alice’s + came home. Fixed salad with Ana + set up table. Betty Isom called to say that Scoshe had died + they felt terribly + didn’t feel like going out. I told her we’d had Barkis put away + how badly we felt blah blah blah. But think it was best they didn’t come. Got dressed + washed hair (reverse order) Ed + Casey the first to arrive and the the Philadelphia Gang – Wimpy + June, Betty + Art, Joe + Fran + Mary. Jack + Joyce next. The whole party stayed in the kitchen almost the whole evening. We remember Ed + Casey leaving + we remember J + J departing but after that it’s a bit of a blank _
Leisurely day. Went over to see Betty Isom who goes back to work Monday. She gave me a brochure on the Corning counter top ranger and we traded some skin creams. Went over + saw [crossed out letters] Ed + Casey + showed them our plans for the new kitchen. had a beer which got right to me. Home. The tree surgeon came with his little boy and Barkis bit the child. Didn’t break the skin but scared us all. especially the boy who was really terribly good. Later Barkis was barking at the baby + if this goes on I’ll have to have him put away. Dick home at one. Anna made us soup + a sandwich Armando back about two worked on his car most of the afternoon. Mary called + talked for almost an hour – read poems etc. I don’t think she’d been drinking but everything was very non sequitur Dick + Armando went out to get a starter for the car. Went to the office first to meet Carl Lagerquist + run off the plans for the addition on the blueprint machine. They left at 6 + came back at 8:45. Dick very drunk + I was very angry Jimmy Judge stopped by while Dick was passed out in the bedroom. He only stayed a short time. When Dinner was on the table I got Dick up + he managed to eat a little + sobered up some Bed about eleven.
Bad beginning to day with Barkis having crapped in the living room. Also he’d peed in the kitchen but Dick hadn’t seen that. Whacked him hard + put him out. Fixed a little breakfast which Dick couldn’t eat. Felt sorry for him going out into the broiling sun feeling the way he had to feel. I cleaned up the kitchen + made some fruit jello. I knitted another pumpkin. Called Julia Mullen who said she’d get the $800 right over to the bank. Told her we were going to look for some land to build on etc. She’s off on vacation on Thursday. I went to my bank + deposited Liza’s check + cashed one. Mailed letters. Bought some more wool, Picked up brown skirt. Picked up our enlargements. Bought a Dictionary, a thesaurus, and an anthology of poetry for Susan. Then went to the Safeway and bought all sorts of good things to drink (non alcoholic) and diet puddings etc. + chicken for dinner. Came home + made chocolate pudding + got a call from Fritz Holt who said he’d be over a little after two. Fixed chicken paprikash Fritz + Friend (Bob “Snicks” Sixsmith) over about 2:40. Had some grapefruit juice + we chatted a bit. The part they have me in mind for is “Pomposia” – Fritz left me a script + went off to be on the Joe Delaney Show. The 2nd half however pre-empted by astronauts so we didn’t see him. Dick home by then. In remarkably good shape considering. After TV he showered + we ate at 5 o’clock. Went out to look at 2 lots after dinner. Didn’t like them. We drove out Warm Springs road. Some of it very pretty + some awful. Didn’t like prices though. Was depressed as we drove home via Pecos. Saw house for sale + went to look. Fell in love with it $50,000 – 1 acre – 3 bedrooms – 2 baths – 2 commodes, living room, dining nook, kitchen + den. 2 car garage with workshop. We said we’d call them. Stopped at Frank’s on the way home for 2 wine coolers. Home. We want that house.
Woke early – Sheer hunger. Had planned to go to Globe Health Spa today but once more didn’t make it. Waited around for Irene’s friend to call. Finally called her. Name of the pet shop is P.I.C. Told her I’d take Barkis over this afternoon. Mail brought card from Daddy with $100.00, residual check from Green Acres for [crossed out word] $88.68, card from Mother Michels signed “Mom” + a card from Timmy. I sent Leon his commission, the gas bill to Paul, returned a S.A.G. form + mailed some letters for Dick. Caught up on diary. Went + picked up my new glasses. God they’re strong + after a while driving around I began to get a splitting headache. I went to Sears + bought a bathing suit, a new bulletin board for Moose at Hatche’s. A book at the book shop. Went to bank + deposited Daddy’s check, the residual check + $300 from the N.Y. acct. Got a ham slice for Dick’s dinner and some more metrical. By the time I was home my head was coming off. Called Miss Toussaint at P.I.C. + told her I couldn’t make it today. I worked on sweater. Have finished sewing it together + finished the pockets. Only the facings + collar remain. Dick back from Bullhead city about 3:30 or 4. From the other room asked if I’d like to “come along.” I said “I thought I couldn’t” + that was that. Joyce called later while we were eating + I told her I was trying to get rid of Barkis + she said she’d “ask the girls at work.” I started to cry + Dick stormed out. Dinner uneaten. After a while I called Joyce as I thought he might have gone there. She said I had to take a stand somewhere + I guess she’s right. Only poor little Barkis shouldn’t be the stand. I’ve agreed + it’s too late now. Besides it isn’t fair to him. She also said I ought to go to Bullhead city + I told her it had become a question of pride by now + I couldn’t ask – “swallow your pride.” Dick home about ten + I did. Asked if I could go. Yes I can. Big fucking deal.
I slept late this morning + read more of my detective collection from Carl + Sue. I wrote Lyle + Timmy (with A.A.) + wrote in a copy of “Lion is Busy” for Blake Auchinchloss [Auchincloss]. Paid our gas bill + sent in 5 entrys to the “Surf” contest. Mary called. Talked over half an hour. She sounded sober but odd as hell. One wonders where the hell it will all end. I went to the post office + picked up my insured pkge. Turned out to be the Mss. of “Fit to Be Tied” from Bob Iverson. With a note saying he’d enjoyed it + that he + Marlie hope to be here sometime soon. Nice letter from Elizabeth today. I went to Vegas Village to look for a bathing suit for Bullhead city + that’s when my day turned Black. Couldn’t fit into a size 12! Not one. Bulged all over. I came home in despair after buying some metrecal. Dick laughed when I told him + that did it. He really isn’t any help on a diet. But this time I’m not going to expect any and I’m not going to chicken out. He had a drink immediately + then asked me to fix another for him + come talk to him. The Bullhead City plan has all changed again + it seems better if I don’t go. I felt just awfully about it having now gotten myself into really looking forward to it. On the positive side though I can diet as strenuously as I want to by myself. But it’s a hell of a bleak birthday prospect. Dick took a nap + I read. Then he went to the house. The Bldg permit this time had been burned. Jimmy Judge came to dinner + showed us his bookkeeping on the new business. Seems to be doing very well. I had Metrecal for dinner – We went to bed about 10:30. Dick up in the middle of the night. I’d gotten up too to go to the John + he was all upset about Barkis again “Hair everywhere” Blah Blah – “I wish you’d wise up + get rid of him.” That did it.
Dick off at 7 – I lolled around until 8. Ordered books for Dick from National Geographic. Called Leon + told him I wanted to work. He said (?) Virginia Martendale had been asking after me yesterday. Told him to tell her I was available. I watered the lawn + pinched off the old roses. Then went about the back + gathered up all the crap from The Dogs. Gala diversion. I finished first sleeve to Bill’s sweater while beginning Maurice Zolotow’s biography of the Lunts. An unabashed sentimental tribute but interesting. Fixed myself 2 artichokes for lunch. Irene came over after with little Susan who’s been sick. The dogs behaved poorly especially Humbug + I was depressed when they left as I don’t know what to do. Can’t tell if Hummy would be better off without Barkis or what. I wrote Mrs. Sullivan a card + baked an apple pie. Dick home about 4 and was in rather poor humor I thought. I had a nice letter from Susan and Scotty sent us the $500.00 pin he found with a very funny note. I called Tony Melia about my insurance + everything’s going to be all right. Dick took a nap and I went to the post office + mailed Harold’s record [crossed out letter], Ann Merrill’s mysteries + letters. Then to the market for groceries + Dana McKay’s for a copy of Hoyles rules. Started second sleeve and fixed dinner. The man never came about the cooler We went bowling around 8 and bowled 4 lines each. My high was 119 and low was 71! Home + played a little knock rummy and then went to bed about 11. By then we were quite giggly. I realized it’s going to be up to me to keep us from pointless arguments. Dick is as moody if not more so than I am.
Well today was a constructive day – I caught up diary. Went over household accounts where my arithmetic was bizarre + paid some bills. Sent change of address to Equity, Aftra + SAG. Sent $1,000 to Hunter college for the Dorothy Davis Edmonds scholarship + wrote Scotty I’d done so. Sent money to Int. Rescue committee + wrote American Express trying again to straighten out that mess. Sent Peter the Am. Express letter to him that had been forwarded to me. I tried to call Mary Haas but didn’t get her. Made a pumpkin pie and did about 4 loads of washing. Ironed handkerchiefs, watered the lawn + made bed etc. Feel a dent has been made. Dick home at 4:30 + then had to go out to look at a job. I went shopping for dinner. Jimmy Judge coming with a “deal.” Had a note today from Alvin Sapinsly which I thought was awfully nice of him. Jimmy Judge over for dinner a little after 6. We had steak, potatos, string beans + pie. His deal has to do with car repossession mostly. On the up + up + NO sneaky tactics. We ended up giving him $500 each. (Dick gave him a check for $1000) Made him swear never to tell anyone where he got the money + told him we don’t in anyway want to be partners. It’s a straight loan. But he’s going to give us a share of the profits – he insists. Well, we’ll see. We listened to Flip Wilson afterwards + then Jimmy left. We had another drink, played a little casino + went to bed. Humbug giving Barkis a really bad time tonight. Dick thinks there’s a bitch in heat somewhere in the neighborhood. Our package we sent from New London came today.
I woke at 9:00. Mary called to say she + Les had gotten married. When I said that’s wonderful, when? She was very vague + I guess it isn’t true. I called Elizabeth later because Mary told me she was sick but she sounded fine + we had a good chat. I called Pet Town + made reservations for the puppies + I called the tax collectors in L.A. again. Had to call twice but it finally developed that they had my 2nd installment payment + all is well. I unpacked suitcases + changed sheets on our bed + the guestroom Went to the bank + deposited 400 from L.A. + a $200 check from Jim Parker. Took + picked up laundry. Gave Dick’s old pants to the Salvation army. Went to the drugstore + grocery store. Had a very dear letter from Sue which I started to answer today. And a lovely note from the Cochrans. I got off my auto insurance policy to Tony Melia + also sent him the one on my house to lookover. Paid a second Cart + Crate bill. Dick home at 3:00. We bathed + took a much interrupted nap. Went to Harris + Frank’s after dinner to get a pair of grey flannel slacks. Couldn’t interest him in a sports [crossed out word] jacket. Not that there were any too great there. We came home + had a bottle of wine + I gave Dick a miltown to sleep and he did for 4 1/2 hours before waking up.
Horrid lady down the street came to complain about the dogs + I apologized + fenced them in after Barkis darted at her. The man from the pound was here an hour later with a final warning. Both dogs jumped all over him + licked his hands. He was nice but had no choice.
I threw a hundred dollar bill away + Dick found it in the bottom of the trash can, thank God.
General Eisenhower died today at 78 –
Up early. Dick off to patch the cooldecking for Anderson. I did several loads of laundry, ironed Dick’s handkerchiefs, cleaned his windshield with scouring pad + watered the garden. It’s going to need alot of work + I don’t know how, (Oh Mother) Finished long overdue letter to June. Dick home at noon. Dr’s appt. at 1:30. He bathed + left about 1:10. I read + finished “She” by Rider Haggard. Dick when he left said, ‘Say a prayer that nothing’s wrong with me” + I did. From the bottom of my soul I did. Went to the bank + then to wonderworld where I bought an electric sweeper, a rake + garden shears + a couple of records. Dick back when I got home + I thought from his expression something had gone very wrong at the Doctor’s. He told me everything was fine there. Then what happened? Then I saw the stuffed lion he’d given me + it was torn [crossed out letters] badly with the stuffing coming out. “That dog is really getting under my skin, I’ve had it. It’s like living in a kennel.” I said that I’d get rid of him + Dick went storming out to the cleaners. I was very upset + the more I thought about it the more unfair it seemed. First I thought something really was wrong with his physical but that wasn’t the case. When Dick returned I was trying to put the god damned sweeper together. It didn’t work + we took it back. I didn’t want Dick to come with me as I felt like thinking but he did. They gave us a refund. Home both dogs cowering around. If I get rid of Barkis, Humbug will be alone. Besides there was the grand statement in the beginning, “I don’t want you to change anything about the way you live” – well Bull Shit. I’ve changed everything. NOT that I didn’t look ahead + see there would be obviously some changes + all major. The biggest change of all is not having one damn soul in the world that I can talk to besides Dick + any time there’s any emotion involved he says, Let’s just forget it. I don’t want to talk about it. At moments I feel like I’m in some sort of isolation booth. Dick fixed spareribs for dinner. We played some cards while they cooked and then he went out + I went to bed. Had taken a miltown earlier but didn’t seem to help.
Didn’t get much sleep as the dogs were sick. Mostly Hummy. Rose to little puddles of vomit at 6:30 – Dick off about 7. I knitted and read – finished the front of Bill’s sweater. Called Joyce + asked if we could have stuffed peppers. She’d already planned on them. My right thigh terribly sore. Must be combination of bowling + sleeping in. Was tired and a little depressed today. In the late afternoon I finally got to work on my taxes. Have 2 or 3 days more to go I think. Dick in a bad mood. Partly because of a subpoena next week to testify on some pool repair job in ’67. And partly because I disagreed with him on his treatment of Barkis. It seems to me that most of the adjustments have to be on my side. We went to Jack + Joyce’s at about 6 o’clock. Took can of pennies. We had a very nice time for the most part and I was the big winner. I brought up the matter of the dogs in front of Jack + Joyce. Mistake number 2. Dick said [crossed out letter] he’d leave it all to me in the car that he didn’t want anything to do with them. Then at home there was the discussion about his shirts + how he was running out of clean ones. I asked him why he hadn’t mentioned it + he said I should have noticed. Oh Shit. I told him to mention anything he wanted attended to. And that I guess was another mistake. I don’t know.
Dick off about 7:30. Barkis had crapped on the carpet. Humbug is really painfully thin + very shaky. I called George Barnes to let him know they’d sent me alot of other people’s certificates of [crossed out letters] rabies vaccination along with mine. He suggested I call “Pet Town” here for the name of a good vet. Dick came dashing in around noon for some forms + dashed out again. I wrote Timmy a letter and paid several bills. Took Dick’s car and got gas, went to the bank, bought some bourbon, took clothes to the cleaner and shopped for dinner. Then went to the Frontier nursery and ordered some flowers to go to Mary Jean + Drue tomorrow for their birthday. Came home and prepared the steaks + brussel sprouts + mushrooms. Dick home around four. He’d just taken a shower + run my bath when Jimmy Judge appeared at the front door. Six o’clock. Joyce + Jack called + asked us to dinner Friday + poker. Then Mary + Les called. And alot later after alot to drink Sue called. We agreed to talk in the morning. Jimmy is alot of fun but my God some of his stories are pretty appalling – the rackets, the syndicate, “factors” etc. I’m afraid it’s a little hard to stomach. He spent the night as we’d all had too much to drink. Doug Menville + Rae O’dell sent me a first edition of “He done her wrong” by Milt Gross – a very funny novel without any words. Inscribed “The nizest Beby we know.”
Busy Day – Up at 8:30 – Bank at 10:00 – arranged for telegraph transfer of money to Vegas. Went to Motor Vehicle dept. on Cole St. Got license [crossed out letters] name + address changed + paid for 1969 registration – $43!! which seemed excessive. Went to Burlington Avenue + picked up turtle, [crossed out words] Bill Downey’s “L.A.”, my tiffany lamp and old vase. Went down into cellar + rescued “Tallahassee”. The Rubys have the most incredible amount of stuff. Never realized those rooms could seem tiny! But in the clutter they assuredly do. My clutter seems like nothing now. Brief glimpse of Jim Parker. Went to Miller’s stationary + bought some note paper and this diary – Came home + caught it up. Harry finished the upstairs shelves today. Starts in the living room tomorrow. I tried to clean the tree stains on rug + Leon’s leather chair without much success on either alas. Paid a few bills + sent in Players’ Guide entry. Spoke with Leon + it looks all right for tomorrow. Dick called at 4:15 + money hadn’t arrived. Called bank + it had gone out. Called him back. He checked with his bank who’d made a mistake. It had been sitting there since one o’clock. Mary called + sounded distracted + tight + reminiscent of old unhappier days. Wanted to meet me at Timmy’s for the turtle. Les couldn’t have the privilege of marrying her. Blah Blah Blah. She called back later. Margie had called Les up + told him to come back “Mom needs you.” So the three of them will be there. Also what’s really disturbing – she’d called Newcomb + Daddy. Oh Hell – Poor Newcomb must think California is sliding into the ocean! Spoke with Iverson + cancelled Friday. Spoke with Mona who’s going to stay here over the weekend. Went to Timmy’s with Humbug + Barkis. Stopped for Brandy + a bottle of bourbon for him. We had pleasant evening. Watched “Bunny Lake is Missing.” Home by 11:30 – Called Leon. Still not definite about tomorrow night. It’s 12 now – I’ve put in a wakeup call for 8:00 + am off to bed.
Left Leon’s about 9 am. Dropped him at the bank. Came home + called Mr. Bozem. They aren’t moving til Friday so it’s going to be too tight a squeeze. Called Bekins + postponed the moving. Read a script that Leon gave me called “That Tender Torch-” about a lesbian. I didn’t like it + don’t want to be involved. Told Leon when he called. I spoke with Mary + wrote more cards about the show. Scotty, Harold Stern, Mary Jean, John + [crossed out word] Carol, The Sullivans + Winnie. I slept some during the afternoon. Bathed + dressed + went over to the Bozems at 5:30. Finally met Theo who’s charming and was extremely thorough in showing me the house. He + Peggy gave me the key and the plans to the house. Showed me the outlets, the circuit breakers, the pump for the waterfall, the furnace etc. etc. I really enjoyed myself with them. Drove the back way – Lookout to Appian Way to Sunset Plaza Drive to the strip and on to Joans. A friend of Davids, Vernon somebody with a nice Italian boy named Gianni. A Doctor named Hans Fehling + of course Timmy + Joan. A very pleasant evening. I called the service + had a message from George Barnes of the Dog Academy. Humbug + Barkis have graduated! He was very funny. I explained about their boarding til I’d moved then I called Dick in Las Vegas. He’d arranged to have flowers sent to the new house on Saturday. Also to have the phone installed except his friend is with General telephone so it couldn’t work out after all. He’s going to try and call me Friday at 4 + come down Friday evening. He’s so dear. The party broke up around 11:30. I came home + put in a wakeup for 9 am.
Henry said I’d had nightmares but don’t remember them. He suggested I ask Doug for some penecillan in case the guy had a disease. I’d taken the pill Sunday morning so at least I didn’t have to worry about pregnancy. Every muscle in my body ached. On the way back to town Henry kept after me about moving until I burst into tears. I said I was going to move + I didn’t want to hear anymore about it. A police officer Ingraham called up + was going to come over with some pictures but didn’t. Henry cleaned up alot of the blood in the bedroom. I called Lee Garmes to tell him as I thought he mightn’t want his friend to stay here. Told him I wasn’t going to be staying here anymore. Mary called + I told her. Made arrangement to stay out there tomorrow night. I sent a wire to Dick in Las Vegas asking him to call. Tried to take a nap + couldn’t. Henry here all afternoon. Erds called + asked us over for a drink. Henry thought I should go. Called Paul to meet us there + we went over. Watched Henry on a “Mod Squad.” Paul took me back to his apartment along with Humbug + Barkis. Had some soup + chopped hamburger. And beer. Went to bed quite early. Got penicillin Rx from Doug. The anonase seemed to be working a little.
From now on to the 28th of October is all just from notes – Called Mather on his birthday. Mary + I had dinner with Rick Ware + called Daddy. Came home here + had some beer. Mary left after midnight. I went to bed.
Was awakened by something around [crossed out letters] 5:30. Don’t know what – Dogs or The intruder. At any rate first memory was of fighting fiercly by the bedroom window. Was badly beaten by a negro man + raped. Couldn’t see him. Dark. No glasses. blood all over the place. Stopped fighting when he stuck a knife in my stomach. Barkis hid. Humbug snapping. The man said he’d kill him so I put him in other room. When The man left he took $10 + left 7 in my wallet. Said he was sorry he’d beaten me up but “you gave me trouble” Crazy.
My face an absolute nightmare. All over by 6:15 or so. Called Henry Jones as he was the only person I knew would be up. I left a message for Doug. Henry told me to call the police. My feeling was what’s the use. All so incredible. But I did. An officer DeLong appeared. Took down my story in the kitchen. After about 5 minutes of questioning he said “Did the -er-swelling on the left side of your face occur this morning?”