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Mail strike in N.Y.

Up earlyish – wrote Robt. Bass about Alaria + sent a carbon with letter to Colby. Dick worked outside laying bricks along the wall w/the storage sheds. Bill called from the Van Rensselaer. I explained the money situation + it’s satisfactory. Henry is now off his list. I told him I’d sent Henry a check for $175 for the rent. Bill sounded happy to be out but with all the things he told me were wrong – how long can it last. Tried to call Henry after but not there. Left a message about the check. Took the laundry and the cleaning + went grocery shopping. Came back + John Carpenter was here. Didn’t feel we ought to see Lamarr. That put my back up. Wanted to come with us and I said No. We, Dick + I, had lunch + then went to see Lamarr 1/2 hr. wait. John not willing to take less than 50% of the stock and that has upset me. Lamarr Bennett was completely taken aback by my question “What have you got against John Carpenter?” He has nothing against him + likes him alot. So the whole thing was Belle’s doing with doubtless a big assist from Bill Palmer. That straightened that out. Also Lamarr is tied up with Tropicana for another 6 months no matter what so that’s that. John + Dick will have to look elsewhere. Came home + napped + read. I told John what had happened when he called + I was very pleasant. But the truth of it is I have a thing about him now and the more Dick defends him the stronger my feeling is. I think he may be honest and all that but this business is going to be run his way and if Dick has delusions to the contrary he’ll just have to learn. We watched a little TV – “The Importance of being Earnest.” Dick went for more wine + some doggy-bones. Came back + I was so depressed + depressing that it drove him out to his tool shed to brood. Very bad things are happening to me right now + I’m not able to cope. I am extremely unhappy and have no one to talk to about anything. Maybe in an odd way I’m jealous of John. He + Dick are going to L.A. for two days so I guess I’ll get Wendy + we’ll do the curtains + windows. For what? I had a sad + strange half dream + woke up in a crying jag. I was in one of the snow houses the twins + I + Newcomb + Johnny used to build and we were all young + happy – with the candles + with Mother –