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Up at 6:00 – Peter off at 6:30 – I futzed about – made bed etc. Took sheets + towels +cleaning things upstairs – did a little cleaning in kitchen in apt. Picked up Bess at 9 – had steam + massage, took her to the bank + then home again. Went shopping – bought all sorts of goodies for the girls upstairs – yogurt, eggs, juice, bread, milk, butter etc. etc. Soft drinks. Came home + stocked their icebox. In the safeway parking lot had sudden vision of Peter riding on the shopping cart the way he used to when he was happy and it just killed me – It was like that vision of Mother in the branches outside my window I cried all the way home. Just couldn’t help it or stop. When I got home I took an equanil but was still awash with sorrow, grief, despair. Strange + awful as the day had started out – like any other plain dreary day. Took another equanil after an hour or so + lay down. Was out like a light for 2 hours. Got up as if drugged. Mary Parker was at work on the apt. I helped her only a little before it was time to go out + get Margie + Erica I saw Sue at the house + Lisa who’s turning into a very pretty little girl. The twins were at [crossed out letters] Blue Birds + I left their lockets on their beds. Took Margie to Erica’s – met Mrs. Mann + the two boys who all seem very nice. On the way back in the car Margie told me that Allen was going to try to get out of the Christmas arrangements + I said I didn’t think that was fair + that I thought they should all stay with their Mother for Christmas. Erica is a very sweet girl. I’m so glad they’re here. We decided to go see “Flim Flam Man” because there was a preview. Peter home just before we left – I’d tried unsuccessfully to get him at the club to meet us for dinner. I got lost on the way out to Westwood + fetched us up at the Sta. Monica Airport. But we arrived in good time. Preview awful – but the Flim Flam man quite good. Went to Ship’s after/ Not home til 1:30 – Peter in bed. Gave the girls the transistor to take upstairs.